3. When stress has taken over your life

Doesn't anyone care?

27 April 2008

1 Peter 5:6-11

As we continue this pastoral series asking the question ‘Doesn’t anyone care?’ I am sure that you are not surprised that I talk about what has come to be considered one of the most important issues our world faces in relation to individual lifestyle – namely stress!

What comes to your mind when you think about stress? Stress is not a word that we can dispense with, but we have real challenges in handling it – and the first being a recognition that Christians are not outside the arena of the impact of stress. Gaius Davies wrote the helpful book “Stress – sources and solutions” and he opened his study with the words, “We are not, as Christian believers, exempt from any of the stresses that affect everyone else. Our faith is not a passport to freedom from pressures.”

Part of our difficulty is that we have such a negative take on the subject of stress. We have forgotten that we all need certain levels of stimulation to perform tasks in life and to achieve our best goals. However, when stress becomes extended or excessive, it becomes ‘distress’.

Stress is talked about a great deal today and huge numbers of people from all walks of life seem to be suffering from it. People are even said to be dying from it! Is there more of it about? Is it a new name for an old problem?

Stress consists of any pressure from outside ourselves which causes us to feel an inward sense of strain. I am sure it is right to say that there has never been an age without stress, even though some people like to look on bygone ages as idyllic. Today’s pace of life means we pass through many aspects of rapid change - and many health disorders today are commonly identified as ‘stress-related’.

Whilst concentrating on the negative aspects of stress – let us not deny that a certain element of stress is essential to life. Most people perform to an optimum under a degree of stress. Stress – or even the more descriptive term ‘anxiety’ – is necessary in life. It is rational, useful and healthy in proportion to the situation we face and helps to trigger appropriate actions.

I want to use the term ‘stress’ as the discomfort that a person feels whilst under pressure, which shows itself in body, thought and activity. Undue stress may be responsible for more disease than we will ever know. It compromises the immune system and often lowers life satisfaction.

One of the most successful and helpful films of the latter twentieth century won several Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor for Dustin Hoffman. In the film Rainman, Hoffman plays Raymond, corrupted into the name ‘Rainman’. He has autism and, as is often the case, possesses immense intellectual powers. You can’t help but be struck by the way Raymond arranges so many things in his life to keep his world together. Any deviation upsets him and his world comes apart. Similarly stress can so impinge upon our lives that we become ‘unstuck’ in the worst possible way.

Life can feel as if it is ganging up on us and we say, ‘I am under a lot of stress.’ Trying to manage it in our own strength will beat us and leave us overwhelmed.

From this starting point, I want you to hear the words of Peter:
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
(1 Peter 5:7)

1 and 2 Peter, James, Jude and the three Johannine Epistles of our New Testament were first designated by Eusebius about 300 AD as “the catholic epistles”. This title or the amended “general epistles” is appropriate because it describes material that is written to a general audience rather than a specific church community like the Corinthians or Philippians for example.

The recipients of 1 Peter are referred to as “strangers in the world” (1:1). The word indicates those temporarily resident in another place … “scattered” by the “diaspora” – what we know as the dispersion brought about because of persecution. The early Christians from a Jewish background faced expulsion on all sides. The danger of persecution would be what led to the dispatch of this letter (1: 6-7).

The exhortation to trust God is a reminder that life can be difficult and once again a New Testament text is actually an echo of a psalm: “Cast your cares upon the Lord and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)

Peter writes about a theme that does not belong to one generation alone. Thomas à Kempis made a distinction between vain anxiety and the daily concerns that have to be faced. He reflected, “Oh, how great peace and quietness would he possess who should cut off all vain anxiety and place his confidence in God.”

If we are to handle this disease of stress in relation to our faith and trust in God, there are a number of things we must do:
WE MUST RECOGNISE STRESS!
To be able to handle stress, we must be able to recognise it for what it is. There are so many ways we can deny what is actually a real issue within ourselves. Some writers have identified the stages of stress.

A particularly clear pattern of stress which leads to illness or breakdown is:
A stage of alarm – the signals are recognised and the alarm is raised!
A stage of resistance – we mobilise our resources to try and solve the problem as it presents itself.
A stage of exhaustion – it arrives and is worse than expected and, despite all our efforts, physical health collapses.

The middle stage can be the most dangerous of all – resisting instead of recognising the situation as it really is.

There are some crazy and unhelpful myths that exist about stress:

Stress is not a real experience - it’s only in the head.
Only weak people suffer from stress.
Everyone responds to stress in exactly the same way.
All that is required is to settle down and relax.

It is important to dispel these false assumptions, if we are to find enduring strength in order to live our lives. According to the World Health Organisation, health is not merely the absence of disease, but is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing. It is vital to recognise what it is that puts you under stress.

Commonsense has helped people to draw up charts which show the stress factors of events in our lives. Some are predictable … at the top of the list is ‘The death of a spouse’ and ‘Divorce’ but, as you glance down, there are many others … retirement, job readjustment, taking on a large mortgage, trouble with the in-laws, moving house, and even holidays or Christmas. Any kind of event in our lives can be stressful.

It is important to see the impact of stress in all the events of our lives. When most under stress, people tend to put off eating until late in the day and then, as many of us know, we usually eat the wrong kind of food. Pamela Pettler wrote the book “The Joy of Stress”. She describes the perfect stress diet:

Breakfast

Half a grapefruit
One piece of wholewheat toast
8 oz. Skimmed milk

Lunch

4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup of steamed of zucchini
1 cookie
Herb tea

Mid-afternoon snack

The rest of the packet of cookies
1 bowl full of rocky road ice cream
1 jar of hot fudge

Dinner

2 loaves of garlic bread
A large mushroom and pepperoni pizza
A large pitcher of root beer
3 bars of chocolate
A frozen cheesecake – eaten directly from the freezer!

Such a practical illustration reminds us that we must take some control for the practical outworking of our lives. We may not be able to completely control our feelings or emotions – but we can, in God’s grace, offer to him our actions. Developing ‘relaxation responses’, finding appropriate patterns of prayer and understanding ourselves will help us come to terms with and take some control of our lives.

Put things into perspective in Jesus Christ

I find it helpful to study the ministry of Jesus – no-one lived a more pressured life than him. True he did not have an Ipaq or a mobile phone, but he was pressed upon every side by people’s needs. How could he find space in his crowded program of preaching, teaching and healing? We are told he found space – for example in Matthew 14, we have recorded two attempts at quietness – one was invaded by the crowds and the other was successful (Matthew 14: 13 and 22).

I recall reading a book a number of years ago entitled “Why Christians Crack Up”. It was the title which attracted me … for two reasons: Firstly to understand the problems many Christians face – and, secondly, to guard against such an experience in my own life.

We need not be flotsam and jetsam, carried along the river of life, with nothing to improve the circumstances. Bringing our life into the presence of God and consciously offering to him those things which would cause us stress can be a great help to us. Part of our difficulty is that we have developed a negative view of coping. ‘Oh, I coped!’ carries with it the implication that we have just about managed to be defeated by the situation.

To bring things into God’s presence is to know -

we are never cast aside.
real hope is possible, amidst potentially damaging circumstances.
we are never completely helpless.
there are things we can do - in God’s grace.

One of the characteristics of stress is that we feel we can do nothing about our situation. However, we live in the light of God’s grace and presence. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)

We often act as if there were no alternative to stress. Billy Graham in “The Secret of Happiness” tells of a stressed-out secretary who told her boss, “When this rush is over, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. I earned it, I deserve it and nobody is going to take it from me.”

Thank God there is a better way … and that is to bring our stressful experience to him – and know that the One who has universal concern and care for all will help us.

Charles Wesley wrote about six thousand hymns; some of them now forgotten, but many still sung around the world. He wrote the splendid words of a poem as a hymn, seldom sung today, called “Wrestling Jacob”. It is a biblical hymn on the narrative of Genesis 32. Jacob’s history was that of a man who cheated and stole his brother’s birthright – that is until meeting a man who struggled with him in the night at the ford. After the wrestling, he was given a new name – ‘Israel’.

As Charles Wesley put it, in the conclusion of his hymn entitled “Wrestling Jacob”:

Lame as I am, I take the prey,
Hell, earth, and sin with ease o'ercome;
I leap for joy, pursue my way,
And as a bounding hart fly home,
Through all eternity to prove
Thy nature and thy name is Love.
(Hymns & Psalms 434, v.12)

We need to leave it with him

When struggling to handle stress in our lives, as Christians we know that we must bring it to God and recognise that he can use the very thing that is hard to deal with. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

When we experience anxiety, burdens or stress, it is important to be able to offer them to God – but it’s equally important that we don’t take them back. Leave it with him!

Phillips Brooks wrote:

Tell Him about the heartache,
And tell Him the longings, too;
Tell Him the baffled purpose
When we scarce know what to do.
Then leaving all our weakness
With One divinely strong,
Forget that we bore the burden
And carry away the song.

When I was preparing for a series of addresses, I read a number of books about stress and it was amazing how many had a chapter entitled, “Coping with Stress”… almost as if this was the best we could hope for!

A biologist told the story of how he watched an ant carrying a piece of straw which seemed too big for it to drag. The ant came to a crack that was too big to cross. It stood there for a time, as though perplexed, and in the end it put the straw across the crack and walked across it. We can deal with our stress by converting our anxieties and burdens and letting them bear us up instead of breaking us up.

The key to all of this is what Jesus Christ has done for you. He is the One you can trust. That’s why Peter, living at a time when there was enormous pressure on the Christian community, could write, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

One of the most difficult aspects for the person who feels trapped in a stressful life is the sense of imprisonment that it creates. Perhaps above all else, those of us whose lives are lived in the presence of God should be conscious of the stress under which others live and, when we ourselves face life’s pressure, we must not do what Lord Nelson is said to have done – that is to put the telescope to the blind eye and pretend that the problems don’t exist.

Virginia Brazier is quoted by Sara Brewton:

“This is the age
Of the half-read page.
And the quick hash
And the mad dash.
The bright night
With the nerves tight.
The plane hop
With the brief stop.
The lamp tan
In a short span.
The Big Shot
In a good spot.
And the brain strain
And the heart pain.
And the cat naps
Til the spring snaps –
And the fun’s done.”

At the outset of this address, I acknowledged that ‘stress or anxiety’ need not be a negative factor, but when it takes over our lives, becomes unfocused, excessive and leaves us unable to make good decisions, then it has reached a dangerous level.

What Peter is suggesting in his epistle is that there is no aspect of our life that cannot be given over to God; not abandoned or disposed of, but shared with God who cares for us. The key to so much of our struggle in life is to know that we are cared for.

Appreciation is the oxygen which puts life and energy into each other’s living. We can ask ourselves “Doesn’t anyone care?” … but we can demonstrate to each other that God cares – and that we care! We are quick to criticise, to identify blame, and are slow to appreciate the good qualities in each other. One aspect of our caring within the life of Christ is to value each other. Having said that, we need to care for ourselves … and that we may find more difficult.

Bernard of Clairvaux expressed it in this way, “It is laid down that we should love others as we should love ourselves. But were you to love others as you have hitherto loved yourself, I for one would not wish to be committed to your care. Learn first to love yourself and then you can love me.”

This may seem strange to some of us, for whom denying ourselves lies at the heart of our discipleship. But the two concepts need not be in opposition to each other.

Too much pressure or stress, when combined with little emotional support, sets the stage for a low tolerance to anxiety. We talk today about gaining more balance in life. The spiritual priorities have a great deal to offer to us in gaining and maintaining a healthy outlook in handling the stresses of life.

Christian Life