Lifeforce Memorial Wall

I came home on 23rd November 2010 to find my dad who had hung himself in my garage. It was too late to save him. My mothers screams still haunt me every night. I felt helpless, useless. I still do. I cry still every day the pain just won't go away. I still feel like I should of seen the signs, why didn't I? How could I be so ignorant? My poor dad was in so much pain and I just didn't see it. I feel so sad for him , that he was in so much pain and couldn't talk to anyone. I miss you dad so much and I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything that day to change your mind.
Love you
Maureen xxxx

Posted by Maureen from Penrith Sydney on Tuesday, May 07, 2013 17:08

Happy Birthday Craig...

We love you more now than ever.... Love Mum, Dad, Cheryl and Tim

Xoxo

Posted by Cheryl clements from USA on Tuesday, April 09, 2013 13:08

Hi My Darling Brother Craig

I love you so much and miss your dearly... its been 4 and 1/2 years and I miss you today as much as the first day...

I love you so much and nobody will EVER fill the void you have left..

You were a very special person here and I KNOW you are a very special person there..

I LOVE YOU

Your Loving Sister ...

Cheryl

Posted by Cheryl Clements (Manusu) from USA on Thursday, March 21, 2013 13:47

I lost my brother Dhiren on 10/01/12 just few days before his birthday ,its been one year and few monthes i still remember all those memories with him as we were growing up together .As he was taking his last breath he kept saying to my family that he wanted to see me .He died as i got to the hospital as the family had another funeral for my aunt he lived in fiji and i live in Australia.As i got to the hospital he passed away and didn't get to see my brother .I didn't know what to do i screamed and yelled and hugged my brother and cried .Ijust kept saying that iam older then you why do you have to die .god take me and make him alive .my whole family was devastated and still are till today .i miss my brother so much as as iam a counsellor and doing my bachelors degree i still struggle today and feel lost .Trying to find a way to get out of a black whole and keep the family spirit going as each day comes i live in my brothers memories and help my family as life goes on .I hate going back to my country as it feels like part of me had died with my brother .god bless him and i pray to god he is free from pain and his will be happy i know his with me all the time his love will never die till i die and it has made our family stronger as we all help and hold each other so we dont loose our precious moments and memories and familiy god please look after those who are in your hands .love you dhiren till i die always muwa muwa just dying to sit with u have drinks party and your voice .love you deeply xxx

Posted by SAVITA from sydney on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 22:14

We lost our cousin Darren to suicide 10yrs ago and then almost 3 yrs ago we lost our darling nephew Joshua , he was only 15.We are all learning and trying to accept why they chose to end their life so early , we miss them ever so much, but i know in my heart you are watching over us.Lots of love Aunty Mel xxx

Posted by melissa oliver from Bonnells Bay on Wednesday, January 23, 2013 07:03

Benjamin Joseph Howard ;Ben' 30.3.79-----29.1.08 Not a day goes by Ben that i don't think about you even though you were 28 you were still my baby , I gave you life, you took that away ,i know that you must have been feeling hoplessness,pain and suffering but the day you died part of me went with you ,i will never be the same .a part of a poem Ben comes to mind i carry you heart ,i carry it in my heart love and miss you until we meet again love always your mum xxxxxxxx

Posted by Susan Frazer from Adelaide on Tuesday, January 01, 2013 19:07

Once again thank you Wesley Lifeforce for a wonderful Memorial Day service held in Newcastle. I have only praise for the wonderful service held. Listening to Peter Bliss's story about his sister Di, brought tears to my eyes. Scott sang Amazing Grace so beautifully on his guitar. That plus another song. Plus it was so good to see people I recognised from the previous year and to chat to them. It was also good to meet a newly bereaved mother and her son who drove all the way from Sydney for the service. I now wish I had taken her details but she did say she would be back next year. They had attended the Opera House service too so that alone says a lot. Your work amongst the bereaved is so valued. Thank you for all that you do. Much appreciated .In memory of my beautiful son Brendan John Ruiters. Forever loved and missed.

Posted by Jacqueline Becker from Lake Macquarie, NSW on Thursday, November 01, 2012 22:34

Darren Hawley 1974-2006 darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Thursday October 25 2012....Sunflower Day in Newcastle.....again we made the pilgrimage to the foreshore for the beautiful Sunflower Service Darren. We do this every year and will for as long as we can. Today was extra special for me as I was lucky enough to be interviewed by NBN for their 6pm news broadcast....it was amazing...they did a lovely story about Suicide....about time we debuted into the rest of the media.....So thankyou Darren for helping me to do the things that I set out to do in your name....the newspaper articles....the radio interview and now the TV interview....WOW....now that I have done it it won't stop me....my journey will be a long one I know but if I have helped one person by stepping out of my comfort zone and taking on TV well all the nerves were worth it...
Thank you to Wesley Lifeforce for all your work yesterday....we get to catch up with our ''special Angel family'' that return year after year....we also get to welcome new members into our family....and hopefully lessen their burden a bit.
Faye

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Friday, October 26, 2012 15:03

It has been almost a year since we lost our beloved and most adored Cousin and Nephew to suicide. No family should ever have to go through this horrific nightmare. No person should ever have to receive such a devastating and life shattering phone call. Our hearts are forever broken and will never be the same. The emptiness and pain we feel deep in our souls is overwhelming. Our tears are constant. Not a single day goes by when we don't think of him, miss him and wish that he was here with us. We had no idea that things were so bad for him and that he was suffering so much. We feel so helpless about not having been able to help him but we didn't know. We would have done everything in our power to have made it better for him - by reassurring him with a loving hug, by telling him that it would all going to be okay, by taking some of his heavy burden, by helping him in whichever way he needed us to. But we were in total oblivion. Nobody ever told us that he had been living such a nightmare and that he had been battling so many demons. We knew nothing of his deep pain and anguish. We were his closest family outside his immediate family so why were we all left in the dark? We hope and pray each day that he has forgiven us. We pray that he understands now why we didn't desperately rush to his aid. We pray that he doesn't feel that we neglected him. We pray that he knows how much we loved and adored him and that none of that has changed - we will all love and adore him eternally. He will always be as much a part of our family now as he always was. His presence in our household will be eternal. We hope that he knows that had he reached out to us for help that we all would have done anything and everything above and beyond our power to help him. We know that he is in God's arms now. We know that he is in Heaven with Jesus, Mary and all the Angels and Saints. We know that he is safe and at peace. We know that he is free now and that he is soaring high above us in the glorious magnificence of eternal rest. Rest in peace now our beautiful Angel. You will be with us forever in our minds and in our hearts. We feel your presence so strongly around us each and every day and we know that you are always here with us. We love you and miss you more than words can say. We know that you can feel how deep our pain is and how lost we feel without you in our lives. You were the pride and joy of our family and nothing will ever be the same without you here our precious, sweet, darling boy. Only you know how much you will always mean to us. Please watch over us until we meet again. We love you with all our hearts now and forever more. Rest in peace now Angel and smile down on us from Heaven each day with your beautiful, cheeky, heart melting, one in a million smile. Heaven has never had such a handsome and perfect Angel. We love you and miss you more and more each day and always will forever more... xxx

Posted by B.C.E from Sydney on Thursday, October 04, 2012 03:30

This is the third year since we lost our much loved and cherished son and brother Daniel to suicide. We never thought we would ever experience this heartbreaking loss. We have no idea what to do or how to live our lives as we struggle one day at a time to come to terms with never hearing or seeing Daniel again in this world. The compulsion to go to him is sometimes overwhelming in its intensity.

Ingredior pace, lux lucis quod diligo nostrum perspicuus rutilis astrum.

Posted by Susan from Sydney on Monday, September 17, 2012 17:22

This is the second year I've attended the LifeForce Memorial Service which, to be honest I had not known of before my darling brother Michael released himself from his struggle on July 19, 2011. It is a unique experience, indeed, to be in the company of so many others who have all been touched by the deep and unfathomable tragedy of suicide.

Michael had many beautiful qualities and I've only really fully begun to appreciate them now that I can no longer experience them first hand. Loyalty. Irreverence. Humour. A caring nature, to name a very few. He was an uncomplicated man and didn't get caught up in the endless material game which envelops so many of us. Michael was able to enjoy the simple things in life; just being out on his tinny with his son or his father on a sunny day in pursuit of another one that he hoped wouldn't get away was happiness, indeed. Yet he certainly had his dark times, too. I so wish I had known how troubled he was that last time. None of us knew. It was a wrenching, awful shock when one of my sisters rang me to tell me he had been found. I'm crying now, re-experiencing the deep pain of his loss. It was so unnecessary. So unnecessary.

Michael left no note and I'll never know whether his decision was spontaneous or planned. Irrelevant now, in any case. I guess he just couldn't see any other way forward. My greatest sorrow is imagining the anguish and distress he must have been experiencing at the very last in order to take such a step. But maybe, just maybe, he was at peace with his decision. I spent some time with him at Glebe to farewell his physical form and I'm really glad I did. I was able to hold his hand, stroke his hair and face and have a little meditation with him. I was surprised at how peaceful he looked.

I still have the t-shirt he was wearing. Every now and then I lay it across my shoulders and chest and put my arms around it, as if to hug him. Sweet, sweet sorrow.

I did my best to help Michael stay on the planet. But he needed to go for reasons I can't understand.

Whenever he said goodbye, whether in person or on the phone, it was always ''Ciao Bella''.
So, again, I say to you beautiful Michael, as I did when I released the flower into the harbour at Friday's service, Ciao Bello.

I love you and I learned a lot from you, Mikey.
See you in the next birth.

Your loving sister, Catherine
xx

Posted by Catherine from Vaucluse, Sydney on Sunday, September 16, 2012 21:43

Darren Hawley 23/10/1974-13/9/2009
Yesterday we attended Sunflower Day at the Sydney Opera House run by Wesley Lifeforce. What a very special day to have it Darren....your Angelversary....we meet up with our ''other families'' on this day....we cry, we hug we just hold each other thinking and hoping that we will all be safe and return next year to do it all over again.
Miss you heaps my baby boy
Loving you to the moon and back just isn't enough but it will have to do for now.
Huggles and kisses to you
Love Mum
darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth NSW on Friday, September 14, 2012 14:44

In Memory of my dearest son Adam John Harmer 16 May 1968 - 20 July 2008.

For the fourth year I attended the Lifeforce Memorial Service yesterday 13 September at the Opera House to reflect the life of my beautiful son Adam. It helps to be among folk who share this journey - to know what it is like to lose one so precious. I see the faces - see the pain of losing a loved one to suicide - it is somehow etched. Through the sadness - the shock now 4 years later I know I have to carry on - to live my life. With all I do Adam is so much with me close by always in my heart in my thoughts - ''if only'' - he was here now so I could share with him.

I would like to thank the Wesley Mission for the great job they do not on this day but everyday their work is so amazing. To all those who assisted yesterday - thank you. To the speakers I was so inspired at your bravery to tell your story - which most of us can relate to so much.

Posted by Yvonne Harmer from Currans Hill on Friday, September 14, 2012 09:28

Thank you,

Posted by name from ZtANbdtJcvjItATGT on Friday, September 14, 2012 04:07

BOWEN MICHAEL JAMES
Age 16
13 March 2000

So this tribute goes out to you
In remembrance of your youth.
You’ve left us wondering, what it was you feared
Why did we not see your pain?
We trust you are at peace
With God and yourself
That characteristic smile is gone along with all the laughs.
We miss you heaps
Love Mum, Dad and Peta
xxxo

Posted by Theresa James from Macs on Thursday, September 13, 2012 22:26

it has been over 2 years since you left us every day we miss you, hope you have found peace, you are alway in our prayers

Posted by frances sharman from concord on Thursday, September 13, 2012 21:59

Dearest Jo,
Its very difficult to know that you have left us. We all miss you so much as a lovely sister in Christ who care and love others so much. I will always remember your smiley face and your kindness. Will keep praying for Alan and Jachin and your family. I miss you and we all love you.
In Christ,
Evangel

Posted by Evangel Chung from Sydney on Monday, September 10, 2012 12:42

Dearest Jimi; my soul mate, husband, and my life....
I still dont understand why you took your own life.... I still don't forget that day I walked away and most of all I still don't forget the vision of finding you... Most days I survive by lately with all that's happening from this choice that you have made is too hard for me to bare… No-one seems to care for us anymore, no phone call and reminder even the kids were part of your love… They never ask are we ok, but if only they knew what the whole story was, I know if you were here as you always did you'd make it all ok. Jimi I am so lost, and confused, this pain is still so real.... I love you so very much and do not know how to get through this life without u. The hurt, the pain, the loneliness and yes the blame.... you may of thought we had friends and family who cared but if only you had of listened for it was you they all loved so much.... I don't understand nor do I ever think I will, its like they think I put you there but if only they stop to see my pain is also so real... Please know no matter what is said I will always love you and not a minute goes by I couldn't roll into a ball and end it all to be with you... But our darling children need me, for its Rorys 1st year at school and our only daughter Kieshas last year in primary school; school captain at that. So yes you were rite our kids will do so well and fly above the rest but I hate that these moments they dont have you here and I have to share them without you by my side. For we all need you so much. The kids pain is felt and I know as with me nothing will change they're love for you cause no matter what happens we all will only see just one hero out there and guess what JIMI to us that is you and nothing will change that.
Well my tears are stinging my skin and I can't see the screen through them.... So goodbye for now Jimi but please know you are so badly really missed you and we all truly love you so very very much.
Love ya babe; forever your wife, your mate and the mother of your children....... Amanda xoxoxoxooxooxoxooxoxooxooxox
Gone are the days we use to share by in our hearts you will always be there..... Gone but never forgotten.......
IN MEMORY OF MY HUSBAND JIMI JOHAN WELCH 18-3-72 til 3-3-09

Posted by Amanda Welch from Kurri Kurri on Wednesday, August 29, 2012 13:07

For my Dearest Son George, whom i lost 20th march 2012 aged 27 to suicide thru depression.
My darling boy, I will always love you and be proud of you and I miss you so much it is unbearable. This pain I will take with me to my grave. I cannot believe that I will never see you again, hold you in my arms and kiss you. Your beautiful smile radiates out from hundreds of photos I have plastered all over the walls, your room is exactly as you left it baby, waiting for you. I sit in it every night and talk to you, cry for you, I smell you still on the sheets...oh god it is so hard...I pray that you are alright and there is no more suffering and that the Lord takes you into his care until we united together again...one sweet day. Please forgive me...I forgive you...you have taken my love with you and left your love with me...be free my darling boy...

Posted by katrina from sydney on Thursday, August 16, 2012 22:38

Its been almost 4 years and I still miss you soooo much Craig... I am thinking about you a lot lately and I know you are around in your own way... I keep the faith until we meet again.. You were really a friend and a brother... i loved you so much as both... i was lucky to have you for the 40 years... i miss you... love your sister Cheryl... sometimes I feel that when I write on this website its like writing to you..
I love you so much still...Cheryl

Posted by Cheryl Clements (Manusu) from USA on Friday, August 03, 2012 13:42

In Loving Memory of Beautiful Son Adam 16.5.1968 - 20.7.2008

It is 4 years today since you left us. That phone call and the days following are etched in my mind. There is never a day goes by that I don't think of that time, that time that changed me forever. I know you would want me to get on with my life and I do try, even though it is so difficult at times. Something that will never be taken from me are those incredible memories I have of you and what you gave to me as my first born child, you taught me how to me a mum. As you grew from a boy to a man you showed me how to accept people no matter where they came from. I admired your commitment to the environment and your love of all creatures. The best of all you gave me two beautiful grandchildren and as they grow I can see you in them in so many ways. Be at peace my boy, I will love you forever

Posted by Yvonne Harmer from Currans Hill on Friday, July 20, 2012 08:43

Nicolas Harley Johnson this is the last of my joy that i will be able to share with those that have felt once and need know they are not alone that faith gives me the power to still say that my tears of joy have ment my smile come past this year .Yes your mother is dear..Yes your mother still has faith..Yes your mother is my mother yet we hadnt had the chance to show the world our love. I am proud to say that i do love her in heart and faith and i was there to say goodbye..I know where you are and i keep that close to my heart..i miss you but i cant miss us..anymore then i can fix your mothers broken heart. I promise that i was going to care for her and help her walk, as we once planned. Debroah i love you and always will, you are the closest i'l ever get to see his smile.Our short memories may have been distancee as we were going to start were it was we traveled together, what now??Baby im here having a heartfulls worth to continue our plans to start anew and keep our family, and finish college as you had accomplished what it was of your worthyness to understand that we both did as we say, and for our doing for ourselves. I pride to say mom that he finished some of his schooling when he was in trooble* locked up..how i wish i could share my heart at that pace of life to wanted to marry...God give me strength to continue without distraction to do for ourselves mom..yes he was insanly funnie when we needed laughter and this is how i want to continue our friendship, our relationship ,our hearts when we meet again. May God grant him his wishes to be the family man he wanted to be.....i Love you, and every letter ,every phone call ,every smile line ,every verse, every thought of unselfishness you shared with me *Ticktock* I'l always have a place of faith in my heart for you; and Debroah you are loved forget me not ,always....i pray to continure to move forward and dream to only share your smile to heal my once broken ways..of a new life. {Yo tienes nuevo es vida amen} * Keep your faith strong mom..you and i gonna celebrate when i finish what we both wanted .....Love Janis * What now ? is this the time .....to say as i do or to do as i say , you left me alone./.mom hug and kisses (hold me) .i want to learn how to say; Goodbye...but i can't..i wanted to be a family,but sinnful ways and corruption is soooo much to blame they speak for theirselves. I'l pray for you east side substation as you have inflicted pain on my mom and her way of life, and left her alone. what you've taken away is not replacable but to only say we both smile and love one another that in our eyes only God can pass judgment upon you. {Peace} is not how her eyes met her last say......may you be judged for lifes cruelity that you excuse your sins by ur bluesuites and underground menace. In Remembrace of my Nicolas i will hold your mom and her name dear. To your father i'm glad i got to meet you and your open heart and door to invite me for the love of his being..Thank you ;your the good time in my eyes*much love, also to his auntie peggy he loved you and spoke of you dearly, and mentiond his family, thank you for being their when he returnd that time back to society.* much love. This time and always ur moms Baby gurl Janis *{Love me} Forever-God bless all with a strong mind, bodie, and soul amen. Ps: Thank you to the Wesley Mission Lifeforce and all you have to offer.

Posted by Nicolas Harley Johnson from Tucson,AZ on Monday, May 21, 2012 04:38

TO MY SON NICHOLAS HARLEY JOHNSON YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART SON.We were so Close Our Love For Each OtHer Is always andForver I mISS You son more than any one.Theres not a day goes by I dont think of you . You were my #1Sonandyou always will be k!!!Tic Tock ILOVE YOU!!!.Iwish i could of saven you . Theres So many things I would of done other ways andso much i wonder if i did wrong; Im sooooory nick GOD only knows howSad iam.I know your looking over your mom 24/7 i want to dream of you so much .i know your sister lizanne loves andmisses you everyone misses you.your dad loves you too.I have your Ashes with me .your jeleriory box you made me only a few picture but we both
have memories that will last forever son. Its not easy for me baby but with your strength i can on t..you would of wanted that Nicholas Harley johnson. EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND I SEE SOEMTHING YOU LIKED IM ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU Nicholas my love. Your 23 years old now i celebrate your birthdays .All holidays of you.Why son did you have to die? Iknow you didnt want to die wrong place at wrong time. THOSE PEOPLE WERE BAD DIDNT YOU SEE THAT?I would have gone on streets for you nick.I loved you that much. YES NICHOLAS HARLEY JOHNSON YOU LIVED AT 5909E.Golf Links apt 103.you were born 11 /21/88 you left mom on. 3/10/2011 . I WILL AWAYS LOVE YOU SWEET THANG. your with God nowand the Angles now in a better place no more u pain or worries . You had good heart ! You wanted the best i know you did .you tried hard but i could not see. Funny I SeeNow!!!!! You wanted to do right i read your things in your bibles you were good boy. That night you didnt know what you were doing.Every one misses you nick.even Baby girl Janis. WE TALK EVERY DAY ALMOST .Nicholas harley n
johnson i miss you andloveYou honey youll aways be in my heart for always and forver son . used to say that to each other reme?kI used to say to what you talkin bout)I have your voice on phone saved many things. For to nite 90nite sleep tight I

God bless you son until we meet in heaven ..
Always and forever I Love You love mom

.nu

Posted by deborah johnson from 5203122747 on Thursday, May 17, 2012 20:42

Charles....
On the 30th of May it would have been your 35th birthday and on the 6th June you have been gone for 2 years now.

I know you are proud to see the tears and sorrow very slowly being replaced by memories and the stories and your mention of your name every single day. Not a day goes by where I can see you beautiful face and that smile, I can still hear your laughter and I can so feel your presence. You were my freind for over 25 years but most of all you are my ''brother from another mother'' and I will always be your ''sister from another mister''!

I feel so blessed and truely honoured to know a man of your calibre. Nobody will even come close. The last two years of your and our life as flat mates together will always be cherrished, nobody can take that from me. I still miss you opening the cupboards looking for chips and chocolate while on your diets, bribing the kids to do the housework or to give you epic massages while you watched tv, I miss our breakfast and coffees on a saturday morning, our talks about life and just knowing you were there..... I always felt safe.

Your passing was the most traumatic time of my life and the pain in my heart is something i just live with but some how I am glad I was there and had the chance to hold you and see that beautiful face just one last time.

Thank you for being there for me and the kids... you truely have made a difference to my life. I miss you so much, no words could express how close I hold you in my heart or how much I miss you.

Until we meet again don't ever forget I Love you ,,,, Lushki

Posted by melina from sydney on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 10:34

My dear brother Henry,

It was your youngest daughter's 2nd birthday a few days ago and your second son's 5th birthday today and it breaks my heart that you are not here with us all. Your children are growing so fast and the three youngest will have no memory of you except what they see in pictures and video's. I wish with all my heart that something could have kept you with us. You've been gone for nine months now and the I am the only person left now who knew you from the day your were born until the day you died and the world hasn't been the same since. You will always be missed by all of us.

Love, thoughts, wishes and prayers
Lianne xxxx

Posted by Lianne from Brisbane on Friday, May 11, 2012 15:48

I lost my only son Damien, Dame or Damo to suicide on the 6th dec 2008 my world just fell apart that night and I know will never be the same again, the amount of people that came to the funeral showed how much he was loved and will be missed every day. He was such a talented person his friends had an exhibition in his honour for all his artwork. He was also an avid skateboarder a very good one at that, we sent his board with him so I know he will be up in heaven skating his way around. Dame will never be forgotten i think of him every single day but we know he was suffering really bad thats when I get angry with him we tried so much to help him and as a mother you think you can always do more. Till we meet again.
Love you always Mum xxxxxx

Posted by Francine Scullin from terrigal on Wednesday, April 11, 2012 22:12

Hey Clay...well my son it's been two years since you left and not one day goes by that I don't think about you. You were my first child, my world and now I just have a hole in my heart that nothing can ever fill. There are no words to describe the pain. Knowing that I'll never see your face or hear your voice again kills me. I often want to end my life just to be with you up there but I cannot do that to your father and your brother and the rest of our family. Its difficult to look at your pictures without crying. People say it gets better with time but I guess they say that because they don't know what else to say. Even though you're not longer with me in physical, you're in my heart and in my blood and that's something that no one can take from me. You were the best, most caring, handsome, son anyone could ever ask for and I'm thankful that I had you with me for 22 years of my life. They were the best 22 years I ever had, and will ever have. Clayton, I love you more than you will ever know and I miss you every passing day. You were the one love of my life son. The only thing that gives me hope is knowing I'll see you again someday and I pray to the Lord to keep you safe with him.
Love endlessly, mom.

Posted by Laura Baker from Tennessee on Saturday, November 19, 2011 09:02

To Kim Hullick, a dear friend who's life was cut short. I miss her smile so much and wish I was their for her as Kim was for me. My heart goes out to Kims family, its been 15 long years this December the 8th, but to me it still feels like she was lost yesterday.

Posted by Peter Stone from Nowra on Monday, November 14, 2011 16:07

So my dear brother Craig,

Its been 3 years today since we lost you. The pain is still the same as the day it happened, probably more now as we were all numb back then.

I know that Mick, Mum and myself miss you so much every day as well as other the other people who knew you.

Both Mum and I speak to you each day and miss you so so much. The memory of this tragic day is always with us and until we meet again you will always be with us...

No words make up for the pain and longing we have for you and just know that we are always thinking of you...

Sorry for the rambling but there are just never enough words to explain the feelings that both Mum and I have for you..

All our love - Mum and Cheryl

xoxoxxxxx

Posted by Cheryl Clements (Manusu) from Morristown NJ USA on Tuesday, November 08, 2011 14:35

A very big thank you to Wesley Mission for two very lovely but different services. Sunflower Day at the Opera House is always lovely and I get to meet up with people that I haven't seen since the last service......Sunflower Day In Newcastle to me is more laid back....people seem to stay around longer and just chat..... I am also a member of ''One Life Bereaved by Suicide'' on facebook....I can relate to what everyone talks about on the site.....we are all survivors.....
I lost my eldest son Darren on 13/9/2006 he will be forever 31 not a day goes by that I don't think of him or remind myself of the things he has and will miss. I know he watches from Heaven above and I also know that he wouldn't want me to be so sad for the rest of my life.....so I live my life to make him proud of what I do....my life goes on for the rest of my family.....we all miss him so very much.
Wish on a star, walk on a moonbeam, dance on a rainbow Darren I love you and miss you.....
Love you to the moon and back Mum xxxxx
darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Wednesday, November 02, 2011 11:45

I attended both the Sydney and the Newcastle memorial days and they were both very beautiful..
My brother Ben Chapman took his own life at just 19 on the 11th December 2002, i am member of ''One Life'' Bereaved by suicide on facebook, this group has a lovely bunch of people from all around the world who have lost or know of someone who has taken their own life. Both me and my family find comfort in talking to others in this group and by attending the Wesley Mission Memorial Services, so thank you Wesley Mission for the touching services you put on every year.

Love to everyone

Jodie Chapman.

Posted by Jodie Chapman from Lake Munmorah NSW on Wednesday, November 02, 2011 10:23

I am a lovin mom of 3 beautiful children and a wife for 5yrs. I have been lost 4 along time. I've been tryn 2 find myself, but right now I have been very unsuccessful. My husband and I attend church faithfully, we r active n a numerous of ministries. We have been struggling financially, it seems like we can never get ahead. I am guilty of taking matters into my own hands, but it just deems as though God has forgotten about us. I need help n having patient, trust and faith. Because we have been in this situation so long. Help me dear Lord to put my trust in You.

Posted by Tiffany Jackson from Mississippi on Monday, October 31, 2011 07:43

We lost our 15 year son Michael on the 14th July, 2009. Why? So much potential and such a waste of talent. You left such a gaping hole in hearts. We miss you everyday and wish you could be with us again. Love Mum and Dad.

Posted by David Brown from Willougbhy on Sunday, October 30, 2011 18:24

Having attended my very first Suicide Memorial Day service held in Newcastle on Thursday, I came away with so much admiration for Rev Dr Keith Gardner's mission in life, for doing such a wonderful job here in Australia. It's been 17 years since my only child at the time, took his life. Brendan was 16 years and 10 months and has now been longer dead than alive. I have passed the ''equator feeling''. All I can say is, time does help. Reading all your stories brings back the pain but I would rather have that pain again than carry on as if it didn't matter. I could identify with so many of you. Narelle from Ballarat says it so eloquently.Her brother's death also took place so many years ago yet she still thinks of him every day even if just for a second. Quote ''it's something that we can never truly understand but over time learn to accept'' Her brother was 18 and had his whole life ahead of him. So did Brendan and I told him that just before he died. I applaud Narelle for sharing her story. Bravo ! Your story and mine will hopefully shine a light at the end of the tunnel for someone who is still new to the pain and heartache that comes with suicide.No matter the years we never forget them but it does get better with time. I chose not be engulfed by that pain for the rest of my life. I know Brendan would not have wanted me to carry on like that. I cried for a whole year in 1994/95 ! I have since re-invested in life by having two more children and my life now is so different. It's almost like another life that I had before but I am so grateful for having shared Brendan's life with him for those 16 years. He was part of me and will always be a part of me until I die. I miss him.I always will after all it's not normal for a mother to have to bury her child. I now cherish the many memories that I have of him. Brendan John Ruiters 21/7/77 - 16/5/94 Loved and missed always my beautiful son. Your loving mom xx

Posted by Jacqueline Becker from Lake Macquarie NSW on Saturday, October 29, 2011 19:04

I lost my dear Patrick in March 2008. I miss him so much but I also thank him for giving me strength courage and inspiration to move forward and do what I must do. I know you are watching baby

Posted by Lee from Bpmaderry on Friday, October 28, 2011 22:06

I lost my dear son Adam on 20th July 2008 just 40 years old and tomorrow it will be 39 months. For some a long time for me it seems just like yesterday. I never stop wondering why you wanted to leave this world. Was it just- too hard to stay, too hard to fight anymore. You only had perfection in sight was it this time - just too far away. I know you had disappointments in your life and you always tried to rise above them was is it this time too hard to climb.

Just 1 month ago I lost a dear friend to cancer she would have been 80 next year, almost twice the age of my boy. I thought I could never feel sad again, but I think because this lovely lady was so full of life, just like my boy, such wonderful company, just like my boy, her death has touched me so much.

Adam I think of you constantly and will never stop loving you, I have never felt angry with you, just so very sad that I could not be there to help you. My life will never be the same without you.

Your loving Mum

Posted by Yvonne Harmer from Currans Hill NSW on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 10:22

You would think something like this would never happen to you or your child. Being a young mother of two little girls and trying to save a family while going to school and working wasn't easy; however i thought i mastered it. I never knew that it all would crash down fast in just months.

We never stop to think of what we are saying or who we are bothering with our words. A simple lie or a silly joke to one person can be a never ending thought of torture to another person. As long as it has never happened to you, you think it never will because ''youve always acted that way'' and never lost anyone close to you.

In 16 years, my daughter youngest daughter will be 18 years old; I have to answer for the hurt and tragedy of her father. I was the one trying to save him by getting him down when i found him, she was 6 1/2 months old and inside sleeping soundly.

How do you do that? How do you tell someone so innocent, someone that will never have more than your memory placed in their head.

Posted by Sara Gibson from North Carolina on Friday, September 23, 2011 06:04

In memory of my brother, Chad Brown.
Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. Not a day goes by that I do not miss you. Not a day goes by that I do not wish this was a bad dream. Not a day goes by that I do not love you.
You are always missed, always loved, never forgotten.
You are FOREVER 25, FOREVER YOUNG, FOREVER LOVED, FOREVER MISSED :'(
December 16th 2004 was the day our lives stopped, the day our hearts broke. It was the day we ''lost'' you. It was the day we found out you had chosen to leave.
R.I.P Chad 11th Sept 1979 - 16th Dec 2004 <3
Love you always xx <3

Posted by Kate Plumridge from Newcastle on Saturday, September 17, 2011 14:27

I lost my brother, David, in 1996. He is always in my thoughts and I miss him so much at times it hurts. I wish he had been able to see his 3 nieces and nephew grow up. He would have been proud of them.

David never got to see his own son and I wish things had been different so that he could have at least met his son, Cameron, before he died. As the one who found him I find at times it is a great burden especially the flashbacks. Also I suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome - trouble remembering things especially the first two years after his death - I do not remember things my own children did which makes me sad that I have basically missed two years of their life.

Mybrother, Paul misses his big brother too. They were great companions growing up.

David committed suicide not long after turning 30 - so much of life ahead of him.

The pain lessens but never completely goes away.

from your loving sister, Donna.

Posted by Donna Pumpa from Nyngan on Tuesday, September 13, 2011 16:32

Dear Greg, I remember you every day- you'll never be forgotten by your family and friends.

Love Robyn.

Posted by Robyn Viset from Kiama on Monday, September 12, 2011 20:19

To my beautiful friend Zep:
Not a day goes by when you're not in my thoughts.
I love and appreciate you more than words can say.
Then, now, forever.
xxx

Posted by Kirri from Newcastle on Saturday, September 10, 2011 11:13

Dear Chris, I would do anything to be able to go back 5 months and you call one of your family or
close friends and asked for our help or just let us know you were in such distress and pain. We cant go
back and we will never get the chance for that conversation and prevented you thinking you had no
other option than suicide. What doesnt change though is the love I feel for you and how proud I was
and always will be of my big brother. I hope in some way you can sense how much love there is
for you and how you remain a big part of many lives even if you are not living. Hannah and I attended a memorial service today at the Opera house and although its a sad gathering it also gives us some
peace, some sense of not being alone in this and the opportunity to honour you in a wonderful setting.
I love you Chris. Your sister, Lesley

Posted by Lesley Bainbridge from Sydney on Friday, September 09, 2011 20:31

Herbert George Russell (George)
12/5/1949 - 4/4/2001

It was with great love and sorrow that we went to the Suicide Memorial Day again today. Thank you tte Wesley Mission and all who nwere there today.

My friend, my love, my husband
a wonderful Father, loving Grandfather

Too young to die
Too precious to loose
It was your will
We could not choose

Our love for you will never die because we have such wonderful memories to keep you with us forever.

It has been so long without you but I still wake in the night and wisper your name and know that you are there with me.

Your pain has gone and you are at peace

Your loving and devoted wife
Susanne

Posted by Susanre Russell from Sydney on Friday, September 09, 2011 19:52

We lost our beautiful teenage daughter on the 5 August 2011, Samantha Nicole. Born on the 25 sept 1990
We miss you so very much . Not a minute goes by that we do not think of you and all the love that we want to give you.
We are trying to be brave for you but it very hard.

We will always always remember you, my darling sweet girl
Love you forever
Mum and Dad ,Juss Fabby and chris.

Posted by Kathy and Frank Peters from Sydney on Friday, September 09, 2011 14:29

Our angel Charlotte Leeann Arthur born 27 November 1990 left us on 7 November 2010. Life is not the same. We will love you and honor you the rest of our lives darling. You brought so much joy to our lives and we are forever grateful to have had you with us for twenty days short of twenty years, than to not have had you at all. We were blessed the day you came into the world, sharing your birthday with you dad. Love you and miss you every day. Mum and dad xxxx

Posted by Karen and Joe Arthur from See Why on Friday, September 09, 2011 09:45

To my beautiful mum, its been almost 5 years since i saw you for the last time at my wedding. Not a day goes bu that i dont think about you, i wish i could just see you one last time for just one minite to tell you how much i love you. Im glad that all of your hurt and pain is over and you can be eternally happy. Words cant describe how much we all miss you. I talk about you everyday to your one year old second grand daughter that ypu never had the chance to meet, i promise to keep your memory alive for her to know who you really were, such a beautiful sweet caring lady always putting everone else before you. I love you mum and miss you more than you can imagine, going through life without you is the hardest thing. Everyday that goes by is one day closer to seeing you again. We love you more than anything xxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by Amy from Sydney on Thursday, September 08, 2011 13:21

thank u and God Bless u all in Jesus name Amen

Posted by mica john from Kaduna on Wednesday, September 07, 2011 20:59

l thank God , God are really don't well in my life, He did a great thing fro me from year 2010 till day. He Bless me, He show He love and care and my family even my enemy He show love for saving my life for the wick world. I'm in the middle side of education by He grace the Lord lifted me high were i think there is hope but He make way for in my life.

thank u
God Bless ur ministry and He love all bye

Posted by mica from kaduna on Wednesday, September 07, 2011 20:57

Divine Unity, Divine favour,Divine Direction in my life time and also total breakthrough life and let the holy empower me in my ministry, the Lord should grand me wisdom, understanding, spirit of giving, power of holy spirit, vision prosperous in my job, my business my marital life and the power to preach the word of God with confidence and understanding faith hope love and all etc. thank in Jesus name

Posted by mica john from kaduna State on Wednesday, September 07, 2011 20:42

To my darling son Chris, 09/05/90-12/02/11. I miss you so much and are always thinking of you, you took a piece of me that day that you decided that this life was too much for you to continue, I wish things were different I wish that I could have helped you in your deepest sorrow, when it is my time to come to the other side just be there waiting for me, I long to hear your voice and hear your laughter again. Always in my heart forever and ever........
Love MUM xoxoxoxox

Posted by Pauline from Blackett on Tuesday, September 06, 2011 14:56

My beloved son Adam John Harmer
16 May 1968 - 20 July 2008
I can't believe it has been over 3 years since you left us. There is never a day I don't think of you, and how it was for you that fateful day.
Of course for me there will always be the unanswered question of why?
During those times I am busy or when I am not - times when I laugh and times when I cry - you are always with me in my heart ALWAYS.
They say ''time heals'' I am not sure it does - for me it has become a little more bearable - but only just.
Be a peace my dear son - only that thought keeps me going.
Your always loving Mum

Posted by Yvonne Harmer from Currans Hill NSW on Sunday, September 04, 2011 19:27

Sandy, my son, sometimes I can understand that life just got too much for you then other times I rage at you for leaving me and your sisters. I do hope that you are at peace now and I followed your last request to be buried at sea. I really do think that you were having a 'go' at Paul as you knew he gets seasick when you asked to for him to officiate at the service on the boat that went 42 nautical miles offshore. We often laugh about that and watch the video of the service. In the background you can hear Paul feeding the fishes with his breakfast. I still feel guilty about that last night you had with me when I growled at you for making a mess. All the signs were there that something was going to happen but your explanation of the rope hanging over the branch when I arrived home after a day out was so plausible and believable that I dismissed it. Also the fact that when you were in New Zealand you went around and said goodbye to everyone, we all thought it was just because you were coming back to Sydney. The signs were there but hindsight is a fantastic thing where we should have picked up but didn't. If there was anything good that happened that night was that you did it at home, not go somewhere and just disappear which would have left me wondering and hoping for the rest of my life - are you still with us or have you gone to eternal rest!
I still have your long hair where you had to cut it off when you lost your finger and it is still black and curly. Your sister Susan lost her hair through illness and when it grew back it was so like yours, from being brown and straight to jet black and curly!!! I miss you so much every day and wish I could give you a hug which most times you hated. I dissolve into tears and we have a toast to you when we go to the Chinese restaurant for any celebrations. It has now been six years but I can still vividly recall that terrible night and Sandra says she will never forget the end of the financial year. She still feels that she should have been there for you that night and maybe have stopped you. We didn't realise until I found some notes that you were so lonely and did not want to be on your own so many times. Maybe you have met up with Kerry your brother-in-law who has now been gone four years and enjoying a happy smoke together. All my love my darling son from me, your sisters Sandra and Susan and your now-married niece Krystal.xxxooo Rest in absolute peace. We will celebrate your birthday! Sandy also known as Alex 18.09.1970 -30.06. 2005

Posted by Margaret McInroy from Belfield nsw on Saturday, September 03, 2011 12:14

For Greg, whom we miss every day - his humour and gentle nature. Wish you were still here with us to see your children grow.Our only solace is that you are no longer in pain. With much love. Sharon, Pat and Kate

Posted by Sharon McGuinness from Thirroul on Friday, August 26, 2011 16:50

To my beautiful sister, we all miss you so much. To think you never became an Aunty (we know you would have been brilliant)

Every day, Every day I miss you, I only wish I could have helped more, 10yrs has gone past and it is still empty

Love you, wish you could have got through this and lived with us, met Mel, our children Oscar and Amelia and your other nephews and nieces, Brothers and Mum and Dad.

Sweet dreams Justine XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX B; 19/02/1975 D; 12/01/2000

Posted by Peter Gasson from Bondi on Friday, August 12, 2011 15:07

Michael you WHERE and STILL ARE ''The LOVE OF MY LIFE'' nobody can ever replace the love I still feel for you.

''OUR LOVE IS FOREVER'' and ''TOGETHER WE WILL SOAR'' is what you used to write and say to me and I truly believe what that your spirit is with me.

Time will never heal the pain I've felt since you left me Michael James Gough on that sad day of Dec 03 2008.

REST IN PEACE MY LOVE AND SEE YOU ON THE OTHE SIDE MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH

Posted by Tricia Clayton from Burwood on Thursday, August 11, 2011 14:36

It has been nearly 18 years since my brother took his own life at aged 18. He had his whole life ahead of him and not a day goes by when I don't think of him, even if just for a second. Suicide is something that lingers on and effects all of those left behind in profound ways. I think it's something that we can never truely understand but over time learn to accept. Our own guilt, helplessness and extreme grief is such a personal and idividual pain that even within families can be very difficult to share. Any services that provide support for people at risk and also family members is well worth being involved with or supporting.

A applaud everyone who is brave enough to share there story

Live life and find peace

x x x

Posted by Narelle from Ballarat on Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:10

31 years later, and not a day goes by that I dont think of you <3
I MISS YOU SO MUCH DAD!! ... and the question ''WHY''???, will always remain unanswered :(
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by Carissa Bowler from Werribee, VIC on Sunday, August 07, 2011 20:46

Raymond John WYATT - aged 59 years
15/3/51 - 21/9/10

My dad... My hero.. You left our life nearly 11 months ago and there is not a day that goes by where i don' t think about you and miss you more than anyone could ever imagine..

You truly were the greatest man i EVER knew and the lessons you taught me in life will be ones that stay with me forever. My heart aches every day, i just want to talk to you, to see you, to hug you.
I felt your pain and saw you every day battling depression, i tried to do everything i could to help you.. but i guess that wasn't enough.
I never thought that morrning when i left you would be the last 'goodbye' or the last kiss on my cheek that i would ever have from you. I cannot understand how much pain you must have been in to put that rifle to your head and pull the trigger. I will never forget finding you that way when i got home that night.

Oh dad, there are so many wonderful things happening in my life but i am so sad that you are not here to share them with me.
Your beautiful granddaughter Charli talks about you often and tells me how much she misses her poppy. Dad, you will be a poppy again in 3 months.. I am so sad that this wonderful child growing inside me will never get to meet their 'fantastic' poppy.
Dad.. i wish you were here, every day. I miss you tremendously and it feels like the pain gets worse every day as it is another day gone since i saw your face.

I love you dad, forever. I will always look up to you only in a completely different way now

Posted by Rebecca Draper from Sydney on Friday, August 05, 2011 09:07

Miss you both always!
Love Lee xx

Posted by Lee Gordon from Sydney on Thursday, August 04, 2011 12:00

Nothing you would take,..
everything you gave.
Meet you on the other side. Miss you always xx

Posted by Emma from Victoria on Thursday, May 12, 2011 11:40

Cory my dear brother I miss you so much , I wish you could see all the great things that have happened since you took ur life 5 yrs ago. You have a niece her name is Mia she is 2 now but I could see she would have absolutely loved her uncle Cory. Jack your favourite nephew got into the GATS class in high school he misses you so much.

Myself and Marg are going great I am working alot in the mental health are as if I can make a difference to some person and help them then there family wouldn't have to go through what I'm going through today without you!!

Your kids Michelle, Josh and Cori-lee are good Michelle is almost 19 now and Josh 16 Cori-lee is still daddys girl though!

I miss you more as each year goes by!! I hate your not here , I hate i wasn't there for you like I should have been!!

Love you and wish you were here..........:( <3

Posted by Heidi Evans from Wallsend on Thursday, April 21, 2011 17:17

Wow how hard you've made this for me and our children, I struggle with the loss of you in our lives, I struggle with not having my best friend to help wade through life. I struggle even more with the thought of you lying on our bed actually ending it. I struggle knowing you died alone, with no cuddles and no-one to hold your hand. Your daughter started her first day of school and you wern't here! Your son had entered an enrichment program for gifted children and you wern't here!! I'm left alone with such a deep pain and your not here! I lost my brother a month after you and you wern't here to help me through it!! You should have been here!!

But your pain was so great, your demons so difficult to deal with, I know your in a better place, with peace and solitude, not more tourment, just peace.

I miss you Patrick I really, really do and I will always love you.

06/01/2011

Posted by Maggie from Hobart on Monday, April 04, 2011 19:51

I wish you were here so that when I say ''Remember when....'' I could actually see your smile and hear your laugh. I miss so many things about you.....I really just miss you.....I will never stop loving you Darren....''til we meet again. Love Always Mum xxxx
darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Friday, April 01, 2011 14:03

It is nearly 7months since my son felt he could not continue the way he was, I have thoughts about why he did what he did, I know I went through depression a couple of years before he took his own life, I wasn't on my own at that time as he was also suffering depression, attempting to take his life on at least once!
I tried to help when I found out, I convinced him to move from the NT to NSW!
Jesse was such a loving soul, he believed we didn't have much and he would do his best to help out! Mowing lawns, washing cars, and giving what he earnt to his stepmother to help make sure we had enough, another lie he learnt about too late!
I believe Jesse was not only confused about himself, but his place in this world, the last words I heard (unfortunately not from his mouth) ''You know what went on!!'' I didn't!
But I can't take anything back, I can't bring him back and it hurts so much!

I listen to music when I feel down, sometimes I listen to vibrant music, sometimes I listen to slow music, but in general I listen to music that makes me feel whole!

I don't know if this will help you cope tomorrow? If it does I am so Thankful, because writing this has helped me tonight!

My thougths are with everyone
Fagan

Posted by Fagan Fulton from CC NSW on Friday, March 11, 2011 23:07

Our beloved son and brother, Daniel Christopher Thomas, left us on his 28th birthday in April 2009. Our hearts are broken, our lives a hollow shell.

We miss you always, we love you for eternity.

Ingredior in pacis quod diligo nostrum rutilus.

Your grieving mother, father and brother.

Posted by Susan Beck from Emu Plains NSW on Tuesday, February 01, 2011 11:41

In Loving Memory of Matthew Moore aged 38 who left this earth to rest his soul on 25th Sep 2010...leaving with a gentle and loving touch of my shoulder, not a tear or a word was spoken...we always talked things through...why didn't you speak that day!

Sweet dreams my love, for goodnight is not the end
in my heart we are together, for all eternity.

We love you and miss you so much Gaby, Jayde and Taryn xoxoxo

Posted by Gaby from Glenmore Park on Wednesday, January 12, 2011 02:58

Merry Christmas my baby brother,

Not a day goes by that Mum and I dont think about you and talk to you...we both miss you so much.... No holiday is the same anymore that you're not here to share it with us ...

Love your sister Cheryl x0x0x0

Posted by cheryl clements from New Jersey USA on Saturday, December 25, 2010 08:59

This is my 5th Christmas since Darren went to Heaven............I miss him so much...........but I must stay positive.........he wouldn't want me to be so sad.............I know I have to function for the rest of my family.........but I know I will find some time for myself to sit back and remember the goofy things Darren did.....I know this will bring tears to my eyes but also a smile to my face..........I will try and remember the good times the good memories.....but most of all I will try to be at peace...........
Love you and miss you so much Darren ''Merry Christmas''
Love Mum ^J^ ^J^ ^J^
darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Thursday, December 23, 2010 10:19

To my beloved son Shayne whom I lost to suicide 27th June 2004.Time will never heal the pain I feel everyday.You were my youngest sweet son.I will love you forever.I know you are in the arms of our Lord.
Your mum forever..

Posted by Robyn from Toowoomba on Wednesday, December 22, 2010 16:23

Nine years ago on the 7/11/2001 Bradley (my Husband) took his own life...... Leaving behind two small daughters that to this day we all still struggle with the ''why?'
His daughters now 14 and 12 miss him dearly and daily is in my mind.
It hurts to think your parents have cut off from your children, even though I have left the door open as wide as possible for some contact. It is sad when grandparents cut off the grandchildren when all they want is a link to you.
Bradley, you will always be in our hearts,minds and forever we will wonder WHY
We will always love you and miss you dearly.
xoxo

Posted by Del from Adelaide on Wednesday, November 10, 2010 17:13

Steven,
It's 1 year ago today that you took your own life and I miss you everyday! I thought you trusted me and i thought you knew you could've told me anything, I would've done anything for you, you were my baby brother. I love you!!!!
I can't believe you were in so much pain and I didn't know. I feel like I let you down. I'm sorry!
Megan

Posted by Megan from Bow Bowing NSW on Monday, November 08, 2010 07:07

To Everyone who has shared their thoughts and In particular Tricia Clayton, Thankyou!
If we could only get more people, in particular the younger ones; out there to realise that there is a better way, That there is someone who cares!
Life is hard but if we talk, there is a greater chance that we will wake up tomorrow being a part of the Life we all hope for!
Mine and Julie's thoughts are with you

Posted by Fagan Fulton from Central Coast NSW on Sunday, November 07, 2010 20:54

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my brother Craig s death. I cant express how much both your mum and I miss you Craig. We have your pictures everywhere and we both talk to you often, there is not a day that goes by that we dont think of you and how much we miss you. There are no words to describe the heaviness of the heart when you lose somebody you love to suicide. The pain never heals .... never goes away.... Craig both mum and I love you very very much and hold onto the fact that one day... we will all be together again..

Love your sister ...Cheryl

Posted by cheryl clements from New Jersey USA on Sunday, November 07, 2010 09:17

Thank you Wesley Lifeforce for another lovely Sunflower Day in Newcastle. We could have had better weather but at least the sun shone through long enough for us to put our flowers into the pond. Personally I enjoy the day even if I do cry because it gives me a chance to talk with other people in the same boat as myself. Keep Sunflower Day happening in Newcastle for us who need a safe place to go and honour our loved ones. May our loved ones live on forever in our hearts.
Thank you for a great day but next year can we order a better day.....

Faye Hawley

darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Friday, November 05, 2010 09:22

This message is to everyone who attended the memorial service in Newcastle yesterday, I was there for the first time and even though I dont know most of you my loving thoughts go out to you all as we go on without our loved ones Take care Gay Picone

Posted by Gay Picone from Raymond Terrace on Wednesday, November 03, 2010 15:05

On October 8th 2006 my brother Cory Adam Evans took his own life. No reason, no note no nothing..... I have a lot of what if's? I spoke to my brother on the phone he seemed fine 5 days later he was gone. What if I went and seen him? what if it was something I said that set him off? What if it was something I didn't say? I don't know and will never know. I miss him everyday and wish he was still here. If only I could talk to him one more time and tell him everything is ok and I love him.

I think alot of people take their loved ones for granted nowadays. If I could have one more second with my brother things would be different.

Cory I miss you and love you and hope that finally you are at peace and all your pain and anguish has gone.

Love you mate
Heidi xoxox

Posted by Heidi Evans from Wallsend on Tuesday, November 02, 2010 07:59

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY SON BEN CONNELL who took his own life on 26th march 2008,i love and miss you so much Ben,you would have been 21 in 2 weeks so im throwing your 21st party for you like you wouldve wanted R.I.P MY BEAUTIFUL BOY xoxo

Posted by nicole thompson from watanobbi on Saturday, October 30, 2010 23:24

Darren Hawley 23/10/74-13/9/06 darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Happy 36th birthday Darren we all hope you have a great day with your Angel friends......we will have birthday cake, balloons and sparklers for you today, hope you get all the messages that will be sent to you today, I know there will be heaps. Today is a hard day for us all here on earth let alone you up there in Heaven

You are always in our thoughts and dreams we miss you so much.

Love always
Mum, Dad and Family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Saturday, October 23, 2010 10:35

Ben Mattiske (Power) 1984-2008

Loved beyond measure
Missed beyond words

He walks beside us

Posted by Stephanie Power from Sydney on Friday, September 24, 2010 21:08

Dearest Jamie it will be five years on 08/10/10 since you left us but you'll always be in our hearts and thoughts. You will forever occupy a very special place in our hearts. We very much miss not being able to see, hear or cuddle you .... the wonderful memories we shared are ours to treasure and they give us peace and comfort.
Rest in peace and until we meet again,
may the Good Lord keep you safe in the palm of his hand.
Love you, love you, love you
Mum and Suz
Buddy and Mimi
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by Cathy from Sydney on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 18:52

This message is to Fagan Fulton from the Central Coast:

Fagan I would like to express my sincere condolances for your very very sad loss of your 2 children in such a small time.

My heart goes out to you as I am a mother a 21yr old boy whom I love with all my heart and hope myself that I never have to go through what you're going through now .

MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU

I lost my boyfriend on 03/12/2008 by suicide and it just feels like yesterday there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my gorgeous Michael. I always think of the good times rather than the bad times because the pain and the tears just never goes away.

It's ok to cry and Fagan because that's healing.

I feel Michael's presence with me all the time AND you will with your son's.

Kind regards

Tricia Clayton:-)

Posted by Patricia Clayton from Sydney city on Friday, September 17, 2010 17:14

in loving memory of my beautiful brother BJ HUDSON who took his life on 7th march 2009 aged 25 years.

Posted by rachel charnock from branxton nsw on Tuesday, September 14, 2010 08:56

To My Only and Much Loved Brother Michael. I will love you forever and miss you terribly. I hope you are not in pain anymore and have found peace. With all my love your little blister Sue.

Posted by Sue Moore from Minto on Monday, September 13, 2010 21:06

Darren Hawley 23/10/74 - 13/9/06
4 years today Darren since you made the decision to leave this world for reasons we will never know. I hope you have found peace with all the other ''Angels''. You left us with so many beautiful memories, our memories are the legacy of your love for us. We will hold you safe in our hearts now until we meet again.

Fly free Darren

We love you and miss you so so much.
Love Always
Mum, Dad and Family xoxox

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Monday, September 13, 2010 10:52

On the 19th of August 2010, I lost my 2nd eldest son, he was 23, he took his own life!!!!
On the 5th of September 2010 I lost the youngest of Twin stepsons, my 2nd eldests 1/2 brother! 9 days before he turned 25! I raised this young man for the first 6 1/2 years of his his life after birth, he was a pall-bearer at his brothers funeral!! He also took His Own Life!!!!

there is more, but i need time

Posted by Fagan Fulton from Central Coast NSW on Saturday, September 11, 2010 20:45

My beautiful and only boy chose to take his life on the 11th dec 2002 at the tender age of 19. The pain lever leaves. The emptiness goes on. It has been the longest years of my life. Went to the memorial service at the opera house sydney. It was a emotional but moving service. To see about 300 out of thousands of people who are going through the same grief and pain makes me realize we are not alone. I know Ben walks my journey with me and his 3 sisters. One more hug, one more kiss, one more smile we will never see. My love for you is a deep as my grief . Until we meet in the afterlife. LOVE mum jodie rebecca and dannielle...X O X O X O

Posted by christine chapman from central coast n.s.w. on Saturday, September 11, 2010 08:17

In memory of Nathan Smith, who left the world for a happier place, 21st Dec 2002.
Nath, I hope you found your happier place, and the suffering ended, know that I think of you often and always.
We had so much fun together, and I wish you were here to share a drink, a memory, a hug.
You are so very very very missed.
Love Dannielle xx

Posted by dannielle from sydney on Friday, September 10, 2010 22:30

To Our Dear Kieran

Son, Brother, Grandson, Best Friend, Cousin, Nephew missed so very much. It is still only early days Kizz and we miss you so very very much. Words are not enough to explain how we feel, there is such adeep hole in our hearts. Life just isnt the same Angel. We think of every second of the day, everywhere we look reminds us of a moment we spent with you, every song on the radio brings a memory of you, little gestures your siblings may do reminds me of you. You may not be here physically Kizz but you are deep within our hearts and wil be untill we to take our last breathe.
I love you so very very much, never angry or ashamed just a deep deep love.
All our love
Mum,Kylie,Ben, Riordan and Brandon xxxx

Posted by Susan Marggraff from Melbourne on Friday, September 10, 2010 19:11

Its been almost 5years since my son Chad hung himself due to depresssion I too suffer depression Im miss him so much but thanks to lifeforce memorial day it helps to heal a little bit more with each passing year R.I.P my handsome man love always mum,dad,James,Dylan,Shari,Lily and all the eople that loved you

Posted by carol morris from warwickfarm on Friday, September 10, 2010 15:45

Darren Hawley 23/10/1974-13/09/2006 darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Today we went to a Lifeline presentation for World Suicide Prevention Day.....Dad and I were sitting in the front row listening and watching the presentation when we heard our names mentioned and then....there you were up on the screen on the back of Scott's truck for all to see....immediately tears came to my eyes, it was something I wasn't expecting.....but I feel very proud that you are out there doing your bit to help people seek help....to know that they don't have to go down the same path that you chose......we know your sign is helping......we have the feedback to prove it.

Today is Lauren's 21st birthday Dad and I will give her an extra cuddle and kiss from you.....she misses you so much as do the rest of us......we have and always will love you...''til we meet again........

Love always Mum, Dad and Family xoxox

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Friday, September 10, 2010 15:02

In Memory of the Life of Ron Goerges, 5th July 1951 - 10th September 2009

''And think of him as living in the hearts of those he touched.... for nothing loved is ever lost - and he was loved so much.''

We miss you darling.

Love Teresa

Posted by Teresa Rivas from Ryde NSW on Friday, September 10, 2010 08:02

Our world changed forever on 26 March 2010

My beautiful baby sister Nerida (09/04/83 - 26/03/10),
you will be remembered and loved forever. I will watch over your babies and love them for us both. I miss you more than I can say and will honor you as best I can each day. Thank you for touching my life in so many ways and for being you.

Your big sister, Renee and#9829;

Posted by Renee from Canberra on Thursday, September 09, 2010 20:23

To Glenn, the little brother it was my job to protect, words can't say how much I miss you. Thinking of you always. love k xx

Posted by Kirsten from Bathurst on Thursday, September 09, 2010 16:05

In memory of Jason Gregory Faust 2.11.04 - 1.1.04
My darling Jason, not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you could have asked me for help. I would have done anything for you. You don't realise the big hole you have left behind and i will never know why you took your life knowing that your twin brother would find you. The pain that we all feel will never go away. Our life will never be the same, but now we have to find a way to continue on and build a new life without you. I will never see you achieve all the things you wanted to, never see you become a husband or a father. Hopefully you are now in a peaceful and happy place.
love always and forever. Mum.

Posted by Fiona Faust from Blakehurst on Thursday, September 09, 2010 14:32

''To the outside world we all grow old.But not to brothers and sisters.We know each other as we always were.We know each other's hearts share private family jokes remember family feuds and secrets, griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time'' Clara Ortega

For my little brother who took his own life in August last year - I will always remember him as we were growing up, causing trouble together or fighting as brothers do and as a father to Logan. I'm so sorry I didn't know you were suffering so badly. I miss you everyday but I love talking about you to anyone who'll listen. You make me so proud.

I know you're with us Glenn. I know that you're helping everyone through this time. I just hope you know how much you're missed ...

Posted by David from Sydney on Thursday, September 09, 2010 10:16

My Hubby Jay

its been 5 years now and i still can't seem to overcome the horrible mess that was left behind. Your son's now six and Fathers Day has become like a horrible nightmare that gets worse every year as he becomes more aware of what a dad is and what he is missing. I don't know what to say or what to do, the love's still there but so too is the anger........

Posted by Nicole from sydney on Tuesday, September 07, 2010 15:09

This is to remember my beautiful sister-in-law who died in 2001, and at the of 2009, my brother-in-law, who both took their lives. Our family has never been the same, and each day I watch my husband struggle with the loss of his siblings. If only I could change that last decision that they made.

Posted by Kareen from Port Macquarie on Monday, September 06, 2010 13:58

My brother Steven committed suicide on Nov 8, 2009. It was very sudden, we had no real indication that there was anything wrong. Steven was 33, and was the most helpful person. I love and miss him everyday. I just can't believe that he did this and that I'll never see him again.
I love you Steven and will never forget you.
Love Megan

Posted by Megan from Sydney on Friday, September 03, 2010 21:43

My darling precious Michael I miss you sooooo much:-( No one will ever take your place while i'm on this earth because you ''where/are'' my special lil man and my love for you is forever and ever.

My thoughts ''are'' and always will be with you 24/7 till I die. When I get lonely and need someone to talk I hold your picture and hug it in my arms and close my eye and let my minds-eye find you so I can imagine you with me.

I still have many beautiful memories of us when we first met and become ''BEST FRIENDS'' then ''LOVERS, SOLE MATES and BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIED:-)

In your cards you always wrote '' OUR LOVE IS FOREVER TOGETHER WE WILL SAW'' and I do believe your spirit is with me and that I will meet you again sometime in the future.

My love for you was/is unconditional bye my love see you in my dreams
MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH FOREVER

Posted by Tricia (Baby Girl) from Hornsby on Friday, September 03, 2010 15:10

In loving memory of my darling friend M, who died in 1995. I can scarcely believe it has been almost 15 years. Rare is the day that goes by when I do not think of you in some way. The pain has eased, but the loss never will. I know you rest in peace dear heart. Thank you for touching my life.

My deepest sympathy to all those bereaved by suicide. It is a trauma like no other. May compassion and courage enfold you.

Posted by Rivkah from Sydney on Thursday, September 02, 2010 11:52

My message is for Gwen Picone from Raymond Terrace. Yes Gwen there are special days held in Newcastle and they are really beautiful. If you go to my son Darren's memorial site you will be able to make contact with me and I can let you know what is coming up....it's very sad that we now must live without our loved ones...
darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Thursday, August 19, 2010 15:43

My husband Laurence Wolf committed suicide January 1994
I will never forget the difference he made to my life. When I met him it was love at first sight..... I am a firm believer that people come in and out of your life for a reason.
Laurie I learned so much from you. Thank you for your love and security and the trips we did together and the people we met together,. No you won't be forgotten. xxx

Posted by Lesley Wolf from Sydney NSW on Monday, August 16, 2010 21:48

My partner Patrick lost his battle with the dark in March 2008. He fought so hard for so long but in the end it all became too much. Every day I find myself wondering ''What would we be doing today if he were still here?'' I find myself wondering how many more times he would have had to fight his way back from the dark. How many more battles would we have had to fight together? My heart aches that I will never have the answers but in some small corner of my heart there is a contentment that he is not in pain any more. I wish you could have found another way, any other way! I miss you more than I could ever possibly say. I love you!!!!!

Posted by Leanne Laverty from Bomaderry on Sunday, August 15, 2010 18:37

In Loving Memory of my beloved Son Adam 16 May 1968 to 20 July 2008

It now over 2 sad years since I said goodbye to you, part of me feels like it was only yesterday and then another part of me feels like it has been forever since I have seen and spoken to you. The years and the tears have not stopped the pain of your loss, the emptiness I feel inside. My mind still lingers on that fateful day when I received the news of your death. I struggle every day with the unanswered question and the ''if only�. I do take comfort in the memories I have of your 40 years you spent on this earth; I see your beautiful children growing strong and I know you would be most proud of them. They wear your image and for that I am grateful. The tears still flow some days for a long time and other days for not so long and I can never predict where my feeling will take me. Life for me will never be the same how could it. I look forward to the Memorial Day when I can spend time with those who fully understand my pain, as I do theirs, a place where I seek some peace.

Adam, you a part of me I think of you every day and will love you forever.

Your Mum

Posted by Yvonne Harmer from Currans Hill on Tuesday, August 10, 2010 10:58

Graeme John Williams.....Aged 37

My Brother took his life on Saturday 7th August 2010

I miss you so much bro......I will miss our chats about cars and bikes and your great sense of humour
Im so sorry your demons were too strong to overcome and you felt so alone even though we were all there for you
your workmates have been so great in setting up a trust fund for your 2 beautiful daughters.....I know you are at peace now and somehow that gives me some comfort and the strength to keep going.....I will love and miss you forever you were the best brother anyone could have asked for and Im so glad you were chosen to be mine.....I will love you always and miss you forever

Carolyne
xoxox

Posted by Carolyne Williams from Melbourne, Australia on Monday, August 09, 2010 22:20

My brother Philip took his life in May this year,leaving behind a family to wonder why and miss him,we are doing our best to deal with the loss,but it has changed our lives for ever.Philip suffered from depression most of his life and finally saw no other way out of the misery then to end his life.I have my ways of getting better and just writing this message and reading other peoples has helped me .
Could anyone who knows if a memorial day is held in Newcastle and the details let me know via e mail please. It is my hope that we all can make a difference somehow to the way people think of this issue and hopefully make it easier for those of us who have to live day by day with our tragic loss

Posted by Gwen Picone from Raymond Terrace on Monday, August 09, 2010 11:35

In memory of my beautiful Brook who took his own life on Wednesday 12th May 2010. I miss him every day and cannot imagine a life ahead without him. His warm smile, gentle soul and beautiful spirit will be with me always. I wish he had seen in himself what all around him saw and maybe this would not have been his choice. I wish he had shown some sign that he was troubled so that I might have been able to try to help him.

Brook, I love you and I miss you. You will forever be in my heart and I will always be your girly girl, you loving wife Tracey xxxx

Posted by Tracey from Sydney on Friday, August 06, 2010 13:59

My little brother was with us such a short time but I have such fun memories that I will cherish forever. I remember him being about 7 and climbing to the very top of a pine tree and swaying back and forth which was about 60 feet from the ground and the huge smile he had on his face. I remember him walking for miles with his dog Tiger and telling me all about how far he had walked. I remember his great hugs and his great laugh that could be heard all over the house. I remember how handsome he looked at my wedding and how tight he held me when he said goodbye the next day. I loved him like a brother but I felt for him like he was my son as I cared for him from an early age. I will remember him forever. RIP little bro Love Pam xxxx
Brian 8/3/1972 - 14/4/1994

Posted by Pam from Albury on Thursday, August 05, 2010 14:25

In loving memory of my brother Brian 8/3/72-14/4/94

I still really miss him a lot and wish he was here! I try hard to live a very full life and live a little for him too!
I will Love him always, his big sister Wendy.

Posted by Wendy Lever from Victoria on Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:20

Darren Hawley 23/10/1974-13/09/2006
We miss our Darren so much but now he travels the roads of Newcastle, Central Coast and Hunter Valley on a sign attached to the rear of his brothers truck. He looks amazing. We hope that this will help those suffering and encourage them to seek help. Our sign is just another way for our family to heal just a little bit more after suffering the loss of our loved one to this silent killer.
We miss you so much Darren but we will always be proud of you.
Love you forever and then some...
Mum, Dad and Family xox

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Monday, August 02, 2010 10:33

my daughter kim took her life on 8th december 1996. she was 30 years old. she had suffered with depression
on and off for most of her adult life, and finally gave in but not without a terrible stuggle. we all miss her terribly
and hope that the goverment will give more funding for mental illness.

helen hullick

Posted by helen hullick from parramatta nsw on Monday, July 19, 2010 11:36

To my darling precious Michael James Gough 08/08/1984 - 03/12/2008.

My heart aches and aches for your presence, you are my life and will be forever more. I long to see you in my dreams but I do feel your presence with me 24/7 ever since you parted from this world.

My love for you will never ever die and I really don't think I could love again whilst I live in this world.

WE LOVED ONE ANOTHER UNCONDITIONALY

You were (and still am in a way) my True love, Boy friend, Best friend, Lover and Sole Mate and I can't thank you enough for what we shared together.

MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER NEVER DIE :-)
MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOOXOOXOX

YOUR BABY GIRL FOREVER. TRICIA

Posted by Patricia Clayton from Hornsby on Thursday, July 08, 2010 08:52

Hi Brad, you don't know me and I don't know you but I have seen you beautiful message on this web site in September last year 2009.

Eight months have gone by and I still think of you and your mate's wife (i can't remember her name).

She sent an email to me at my work email (patricia.clayton@iag.com.au) because I had sent you an message of comfort on this site in September 2009 and I have always thought of you both as I AM still really suffering from my loss with my boyfriend who commited suide on 3 Dec 2008, that was the worst day of my life.

If you ever feel the need to chat you can send me an email at (patricia.clayton@iag.com.au)

Kind regards

Tricia Clayton:-)

Posted by Patricia Clayton from Hornsby NSW 2077 on Tuesday, July 06, 2010 15:13

To my big brother, I will forever love you and miss you, I hope you are free my dear one xxxx

Posted by Susanti from Alice Springs on Sunday, July 04, 2010 13:50

We miss you so much Darren, we wish you were here with us. We can't wait to see you on the back of Scott's truck you are going to look awesome. Scott will be one very proud driver and brother. We hope that your sign will help other people and even if it only helps one person, well then it has done it's job. We will always be proud of you. We love you so much and miss you so much more.
Love you forever and then some
Mum, Dad and Family xoxox

Posted by Faye Hawley from Edgeworth on Tuesday, June 29, 2010 16:49

I'm 21 and I've had two girlfriends who lost their mothers to suicide and a male uni friend who lost his father to suicide. I hope that when we think of any warning signs we would pray for these people, and that those who are depressed or whatever else will be met in time.

Posted by Anne from Sydney on Thursday, June 10, 2010 12:21

I lost my brother to suicide in December 2007 aged 38. He was very sick with a mental illness. I hope that now he is at peace. I now grieve for his loss as I grieved for his illness. I hope that the Life Force Memorial Day continues on and raises awareness of those who are suffering in such an often unspoken way.

Posted by Sister from Sydney NSW on Monday, December 07, 2009 10:42

I would like all to know my daughter ..JODIE O CONNOR, ...took her life on Christmas day almost 4 years ago....I will always be sorry I cannot hold her in my arms and kiss her face and tell her how much I have always loved her, she was a much needed young lady and mother. God bless you in heaven. Angel.

Posted by L Sullivan from WA on Friday, November 13, 2009 23:29

I would like all to know my daughter Jodie O Conner, took her life on Christmas day almost 4 years ago....I will always be sorry I cannot hold her in my arms, she was a much needed young lady. God bless you in heaven. Angel.

Posted by L Sullivan from WA on Friday, November 13, 2009 23:21

dear beej,
wednesday should have been your 26th birthday- god how i miss you
we celebrated your birthday and life the best way possible
we let green balloons go at nan lynchs house then at telarah lagoon your favourite fishing spot then with you here at branxton - then partied at your FAVOURITE SPOT our shed..
loving you forever forgetting you never
your sis rach
xoxoxox

Posted by rachel charnock from branxton nsw on Friday, November 06, 2009 09:53

I lost my cousin a year ago on sunday. Craig was the most soft hearted, caring and loving person who would give you anything that you asked for, he would always be there if you needed anything Not a day goes by that we don't think of him . Craig we are all proud of you and what you achieved. The time we shared was precious and we miss you. I know you are alright now but your life was taken too short you will always be in my heart. I want to put my arms around you and hug you. May the road rise up to meet you may the wind always be at your back and may god hold you in the palm of his hands until we meet again. Love Anita, Tim, Aunty Jan.

Posted by anita hanley from camden on Thursday, November 05, 2009 19:41

Craig Manusu April 9, 1968 - November 8, 2008

My Darling Brother Craig,

Its been almost a year since that fateful night when I received the phonecall that will forever change my life in ways that words cannot express. It was my mother on the phone screaming that my brother had committed suicide. That memory will never go away...Its something my mind couldn't comprehend and it still can't. How did it happen....I have learnt in life no matter how much you try, there are just some things you cannot control.

Craig, you were such a special person in many ways. Even though I lived half a world away from you, you were always the first person I wanted to see when I visited home every year. You and I were always as much friends as we were brother and sister. We were always laughing and joking when we were together but we also knew we had each other to rely on in a jam, that was always such a comfort to me. I still can't believe you arent here anymore. I can't tell you how much both Mum and I miss you.... you were really a wonderful caring guy and I know that everyone you came in contact with knew this about you.

Until we meet again, please keep near and know that not a day goes by that my heart doesn't hurt for you, I love you, your big sister.... Cheryl

Posted by Cheryl Manusu (Clements) from New Jersey USA on Sunday, October 25, 2009 04:47

I lost my brother Andrew to suicide on the 22/7/2008. I find it so hard to cope daily knowing that you have chosen death over life. Why. I have no answers. I have no idea of why you did this.I struggle daily and often find myself out of breath when my thoughts turn to you. Why. Why. Why didnt you come to me.I think about you, Andrew every day and there will always be a hole in my heart and someone missing from my life forever.
You were a good person, you had amazing talents.
We all miss you and wish you were here.
Love you big sis!!

Posted by Rachel from Newcastle on Saturday, October 24, 2009 09:38

A flower lent not given
to bud on earth
and bloom in heaven.

In loving memory of my little brother BJ HUDSON who passed away on saturday 7th march 2009 aged 25years.
I miss you so so much bj,
rest in peace my beautiful brother.

TO BE JUDGED BY NO-ONE

LOVING YOU FOREVER
rach
xoxoxoxxo

Posted by Rachel Charnock from Branxton NSW on Friday, October 23, 2009 13:43

Happy 35th Birthday Darren........we love you heaps and miss you more.
Yesterday Dillon and I got to talk about you at the Sunflower Day in Newcastle, well I got to talk while Dillon stood beside me holding your photo, we were all so proud of him..........as we know you are also very proud of him, we know you watch over him from Heaven.
It was a great day yesterday and we are starting to make new friends all in the same boat as us, it is becoming like a family reunion...........
Many thanks to Wesley Mission Lifeforce for helping us all to keep our loved ones ''alive'' and giving us such a beautiful service to hold in our hearts and memories forever......
We love you and miss you so much Darren we hope you have a great birthday party in Heaven with your Angel friends......35 Angel kisses for you sweetheart.........
Love Mum, Dad, Dillon, Kylie,Debbie, Nicole, Scott, Lauren and all your nieces and nephews you never got to meet. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Posted by Faye Hawley from Newcastle on Friday, October 23, 2009 11:09

To My dearest Andrew
I am glad you thought our 8 years together were your best years. I am glad we shared so many laughs. I am glad I learnt so much from you even though I was older. I am glad your beautiful mind is now forever at peace and that perhaps your preciouse soul is seeking a new abode. I thank you for the thought waves you have so many times shared since XMAS Day 2008. I miss you so very much as you know and the simple lifestyle that we shared but I move forward every day also because of what we had. Watch over Buddy and I as you say you will. He's turning into a great dog and a good companion thanks to your early training. I am happy you left me with more fond memories then dark ones dear man and that we both realised what real love is. I am glad I told you every now and then how much you meant to me and how much you showed me this in return. Safe travels dear soul until we meet again. :-) Forever Mary xxx

Posted by Mary Dreger from Sydney on Wednesday, October 21, 2009 12:48

To those reading my message,
So many times I go write my message here but I'm not able to finish it.....so backspace I go.
I am so lonely and miss my husband whom committed suicide 7months 1 week and 6 days ago (3/3/09).
No words seem to say the emotions I feel I guess the best way to say it is its like a roller coaster that you just never seem to come off or slow down on.
My husband left me 5 beautiful kids who are all in their own special way just like him... they too miss him sooo much. Not a day goes by where when doing the usual motherly thing around the house I don't come across a letter or note with those same words RIP Daddy or I miss you so much Daddy. Our hearts are just so lonely and our house is so cold these days. I hate the lonelyness.. I just wish we can turn the hands of time back, I know everyone says we cant but its now the only wish I will ever have.
I miss you Jimi and so sorry for not coming back earlier. I will forever hold you in my heart and never ever will anyone take that place.
Love you Jimi forever and ever.
Miss you so so much.
xoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox oxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoooooxooxoxo oxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Posted by Amanda Welch from Kurri Kurri on Friday, October 16, 2009 22:13

In loving memory of my two brothers who took their own lives. Doug in 1992 aged 36 and Greg in 2009 aged 54.The pain runs long and deep. Always remembered, forever loved.
''Stay a while with your own ones''

Posted by Ruth from Sydney on Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:58

love you brenden forever mum dad and tickford your funny dog GO FORD 11TH OCTOBER 09

Posted by carol wilcox from sydney on Sunday, October 11, 2009 08:41

My darling husband Greg departed this world by his own hand on 28th August 2007. It's two years now and I still feel his spirit with me every day. A beautiful man with a beautiful heart and a mental illness that wouldn't give him any peace. Now thankfully, he is at peace. Missing you always, love Marilyn

Posted by Marilyn Lema from Penrith on Thursday, October 08, 2009 22:44

To my Best Mate,My Son,My Chado. The day you left I can never forget you were my pride and joy . You were too young to leave like that.We wanted to have our first xmas with U and your girl Lily but it wasnt meant to be.Your little bro,s miss you so much that U already know.Your daughter Lily will never forget who you are.She tells me YOU ARE HER DAD IN THE SKY.You were only 23and she was 2 .Your never far away in my thoughts. We LUV YOU CHAD JOHN MORRIS.Your mum Carol,Dad Lack,Bro,s JamesandDylan,also your preciuos gift.Miss Lily.They say it takes a minute to find a special person,an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them,but then an entire life to forget them.Chad hung himself on the 30-9-2005 due to depression since his death I now suffer anxiety attacks I have a great support network and Ive recently did a mental health first aid course so I can maybe help others from going through a night mare like the 1 suicide has on familyandFreinds left to struggle threw

Posted by Carol Morris from N.S.W. Sydney on Wednesday, October 07, 2009 10:37

Our beautiful Felicity, daughter, sister, mother, wife and aunt.
Not a second of everyday goes by that we do not think of you and miss you.
You had everything to live for and nothing to die for, I wish I understood.
Forever in our hearts and love is forever.

Love Mum oxoxox

Posted by ROSALYN RIDGEWELL from sydney on Tuesday, October 06, 2009 14:24

We lost James to suicide on July 2nd 2008, at 26 years old. I never knew what strength was before this.
Not a day goes by that i am not reminded of you. I will always wonder and question what else could have been done.
I wish that people would not be afraid to ask about you and who you were. Your story is as much a part of me as it is a part of you. Suicide is not something to be hidden. If we continue to ignore it more lives will be lost and more families will be ruined. Talking about you helps me heal, it stirs good memories of you, instead of the nothingness that is here now.
love you always, wherever you are xxx

Posted by Hannah Goode from Sydney on Saturday, October 03, 2009 12:54

To Adam my cousin im sorry you were in the darkest moment that took you away from us all especially your mum, children and brothers we all loved you and miss you very much

love sandra x

Posted by sandra from currans hill on Friday, October 02, 2009 18:47

We had a lovely day at the Opera House we hope you seen your sunflowers from Heaven. Maybe you could have turned the sun down a bit to save us from sunburn and maybe you could have turned the wind off for a while, we thought the Memorial Wall was going to topple over a few times. Maybe the wind was from all you special Angels to let us know that you were there.
We miss you so much Darren but we know with each passing day we are a day closer to seeing you again.
Miss you our darling son.
Love you heaps
Love Always
Mum and Dad xoxox

Posted by Faye Hawley from Newcastle on Friday, October 02, 2009 09:50

To my beautiful Merle.
Love, mbz.

Posted by Maria from Sydney on Thursday, October 01, 2009 23:38

To my beloved father, Paul Michael O'Toole.

I think about you and what happened to you every single day of my life. It still distresses me that someone who loved life and experienced it so intensely could choose to end it. There was never anyone quite like you, and we all struggle with the loss. I forgive you.

I long to speak to you - to apologise or explain or understand something of the way you must have felt. Suicide leaves so many silences, so many words that could have been spoken. I still wish there was a moment that could have changed everything.

It has been almost three years. I will love you forever, and you are a part of me.

Posted by Kate O'Connor from Sydney on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 21:11

I lost my nephew, Craig Manusu, to suicide last year. Craig had a truly beautiful nature but in his blackest moment made a decision which took him away from those who loved him dearly, especially his mum, Patricia, and his sister, Cheryl. He was very smart and had a knack for being able to fix anything and do anything. He was very artistic and did some beautiful art works. He loved animals and had a very sensitive and kind nature. He was devoted to his mother as was she to him. He came from a very loving family. He had so much to live for but just could not see that in his darkest moments. Not a day goes by where we do not miss him and ask why. More counselling services need to be available to help people find alternatives to suicide. Love you Craig and miss you xxxxx

Posted by Fran Manusu from Prairiewood NSW on Thursday, September 24, 2009 11:13

Herbert George Russell (George)
12/5/1949 - 4/4/2001

My friend, my love, my husband
a wonderful Father, loving Grandfather

Too young to die
Too precious to loose
It was your will
We could not choose

Our love for you will never die
because we have such wonderful memories to keep you with us forever.

It has been so long without you but I still wake in the night and wisper your name and know that you are there with me.

Your pain has gone and you are at peace

Your loving and devoted wife
Susanne

Posted by Susanne Russell from Sydney Australia on Thursday, September 24, 2009 10:40

So this tribute goes out to you
In remembrance of your youth
Youve left us wondering, what it was you feared
Why did we not see your pain?
We trust you are at peace
With God and yourself

Hey teenager of the year
Help us all to understand
Hey teenager of the year
Your new life has just begun

And you wont suffer anymore
God has given you new plans
To teach us all to talk
To family and friends
To take the opportunity that is here
To help each other out
As best we can

Hey teenager of the year
Help us all to understand
Hey teenager of the year
Your new life has just begun

Your life on earth
It was worthwhile
You were a big part of our life
We will miss you day and night

Hey teenager of the year
Help us all to understand
Hey teenager of the year
Your new life begins right now
_______________________________________________________

In Memory of Bowen Michael James 12/01/84 -13/03/2000

_______________________________________________________

Posted by mum from MacMasters Beach on Wednesday, September 23, 2009 11:01

This message is for BradM:

Hi Brad I'm so sorry to hear about your ''Best Mate''. My heart goes out to you and everyone concerned.

I lost my boyfriend on the 3rd December 2008 to suicide, I am totally lost and feel that my life will never be the same again.

I don't think too many people really understand the after mark of a survivor to suicide only the people who are left behind.

If you ever need someone to talk to you can send me an email if you like Patricia.Clayton@iag.com.au:-)

Take care

Tricia

Posted by Patricia Clayton from Hornsby Sydney on Wednesday, September 23, 2009 10:43

Dearest James,
No longer the black days of lonely despair.
Your parents , family and friends have never stopped blaming themselves for not seeing the extent of your pain. We know you are smiling and serene now, but wish we had one last moment to hold you and say how much you are loved.
Forever in our hearts..............

Posted by Roz Hogan from Sydney on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 11:24

'The love inside, you take it with you.' We love you and miss you Katie.

Posted by D Richardson from Sydney on Friday, September 18, 2009 07:21

My best mate Simon past away just over 8 months ago and left the biggest hole in the lives with everyone who knew him! He was a gentleman, husband, son, Proud Australian and my closest of friends! All the trials we went through, hospital, gaol, life and you let this take you!!!
I will keep my long ago promise and keep my eye on your mum for you mate! I love you my brother and miss you deeply! See you on the other side my brother but not for a while!
Bradaz

Posted by BradM from Sydney, Australia on Thursday, September 17, 2009 10:08

Katie i'ts been 7 months since you left me in the still of the night when i never got to say good bye or kiss you for the last time and say good night and god bless, i miss you so much the smile on your face the feel of your touch, my heart aches and brakes each day that goes bye, but i know one day i'll see you again, your in my dreams thoughts and every thing i do, missing you heaps what else can i do it's so hard here not having you I love you my baby girl
Love you for ever Mum xxxxxx

Posted by Rebecca from Penrith on Thursday, September 17, 2009 05:28

Darren Hawley 23/10/1974-13/9/2006
My beautiful first born child took his life at the age of 31. We all miss you so much, life will never be the same for us. Three years on, we never thought we would get this far, but we battle on every day. I remind myself that each day is not just another day without you but a day closer to seeing you again. You are locked away safe in our hearts, no one can hurt you now. We all love you Darren always have and always will.
Huggles and kisses for you
Love Always
Mum xoxox

Darren's Memorial Site

darren-hawley.memory-of.com

Posted by Faye Hawley from Newcastle NSW on Monday, September 14, 2009 15:41

In memory of Michael Gough DOB 08/08/1984 - Departure date 03/12/2008

My darling Michael I feel your presence with me all the time.

The day I received the call regarding your departure I was shattered and totally lost (and still am).

My love for you is ''FOREVER'' and nobody will ever take your place.

Thank you for being my best friend, lover, sole mate, protector and boy friend.

Love forever :-) Your Baby Girl

mwah mwah mwah mwah

Posted by Patricia Clayton from Castle Hill on Saturday, September 12, 2009 10:29

In memory of my Dad, Brian Robert Foy, aged 62 - 31st March 1946 - 6th May 2008

On Sunday, Father's Day it was 16 months since you left us. I'm still struggling to come to terms with not being able to see you ever again, but it brings a little comfort to me to know that you are now reunited with Mum, as I know how much you dearly loved and missed her. In time I hope that I will be able to think of you with a smile on my face with happy memories of you instead of crying all these tears.

''If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever''

I miss you Pa, loving you always and forever, your Daughter, Tig (Karen) xxx

Posted by Kaz Foy from Summer Hill, NSW, Australia on Friday, September 11, 2009 16:30

My precious Michael my heart is hurting so bad. Our heartstrings will be connected forever. Pleasant little memories of you are tuggin' at my heart, Keep me thinkin' of you now we're apart, and with every heart-tug, wishes sweet and true. Leave my heart's door open, and find their way to you, But I don't mind the tuggin' at my heart strings now, Because it's so very special when its done by you.

Love always

Baby girl
mwah mwah mwah:-)

Posted by Tricia from sydney on Friday, September 11, 2009 14:49

My dearest nephew Darren you were only 28.
No-one ever could imagine where you must have been on that day.
I had to identify you at the morgue.
I relive that sad memory many times.
Your mother has never been the same, she loved you so much and was so heart broken and saddened
to think!,why! what happened !what did mum,family and friends miss to not know what you were feeling.
Always remembered and loved.
Aunty Linda

Posted by Linda from Sydney on Friday, September 11, 2009 13:10

It is almost 14 months since I lost you Adam, my eldest, you were the one who taught me how to love as a Mother, my beautiful boy. Most times I do not believe you have gone. I do not know what took you that fateful day. There is not a day or even an hour I do not think of you and wish you back with your Hi Mum. You left behind 2 beautiful children and through them I can see you still. My life will never be the same; life without you is not the same. Your death is a burden I will carry, IF I could have known could I have done something. And through all the pain and grief I have such wonderful memories of you. I admired how you had such high standards and how you strived so hard to do the very best, your love of animals, the environment, you were such an inspirational shining light and you taught me so much. I now strive to be a much better person, like you to understand others and try not to judge; that is your legacy you have left me. I will think of you every day and love you forever.
Your Mum

Posted by Yvonne Harmer from Currans Hill NSW on Monday, September 07, 2009 20:28

20 months today brenden james wiclox you went awaya never to come back again we miss you dearly all our love mum and dad and tickford xxxxooo

Posted by carol wilcox from lethbridge park on Sunday, August 30, 2009 10:39

Hey Matt my darling Bro...its nearly ten years since you left us...still miss you sooo...but I know you are a star in the heavens and laugh with me when you can! Just wanted you to know Moo, the BFs and I spent the weekend in Bathurst with your beautiful 17 year old Thomas...he is getting sooo much like you its freaky but a pleasure all the same...he is a cuddle bunny just like you too...I have designed his first tatt (your name of course) and hope to be with him on his 18th when he gets it!
We hung out with the Woodhams on Sunday and Marcus has named his beautiful new baby after you! You will always be in our hearts and lives...love ya

Posted by Cathi Duff from Thirroul on Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:31

no one could get the nerve to tell us what really happened to you.
but in time and with age we figured it out.
i miss you cuz now all ive got is the stories and the memories,
we miss you.

Posted by kt from cc on Thursday, May 28, 2009 08:08

In memory of Trevor James Walls, 20/12/2008, aged 26.

I can only imagine the heartbreak you felt in making the decision to leave...
You left behind 2 amazing and beautiful little girls who loved their Daddy more than life itself.
You were the most loving, devoted father, you were the son any man would gladly call theirs, you were a brother, an uncle, a companion, a friend, you were YOU.

Although we were apart, know, you were never far from my heart; you were my husband, my friend.
You will never know how sorry I am that I was not there to take away your pain, to tell you that we loved you, that your life was not in vain.

Trev you live within our girls and to this I promise you, they will grow up always knowing of their fathers love and of the man I once knew.

Love now and for always,

Toni, Mikaela and Bridie Walls.

Posted by Toni Walls from Dubbo on Tuesday, April 14, 2009 13:15

MY SISTER MONICA BIRCH TOOK HER OWN LIFE ON THE 2nd OF NOVEMBER 1992 SHE WAS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WE MISS HER AND LOVE HER ALWAYS AND SHE REMAINS FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY MONICA YOU ARE A FREE SPIRIT NOW GOD BLESS XX

Posted by PAULINE WHEELER from upholland on Thursday, April 09, 2009 17:54

This message is meant to be a bear hug for Cheryl Evans, of Orlando, Florida. Your post caught my eye because my beloved son would have celebrated his 24th birthday just one day before yours, on March 28, 2009. But on the evening of May 27, 2005, when he was barely 20, his ''psychache'' became so unbearable that he took his own life.
In the eerie, painful days following his death I cried for him, I yelled at him, I cursed him, I blackmailed him so he would come back for a couple of minutes, just to let me stroke his curly hair one more time before saying goodbye. It's been almost four years. I feel like I descended into hell, but came back with the help and consolation that only Our Lord Jesus Christ can give. I stopped looking for explanations, because they were killing me and my other two sons.
Cheryl, right now there's nothing I can say to ease your pain, your confusion, your anger, your anguish, all those new feelings that overwhelm you. I just want to tell you that I'm here, that you can e-mail me at pdelrio2@gmail.com.
Please try to find a support group for survivors of suicide in your area and, though you will probably find yourself hating God at some time or other, He is there with you, holding you in His loving arms just as He is holding your son and mine.
I am your friend, I am your fellow ''orphaned'' mother (for lack of a better term), I've been there and I'm more than willing to listen to you and offer a helping hand in these trying times. Don't hesitate to contact me.
The only thing I ask is that you try to understand that your child had a mental illness (most likely depression). This wasn't against you or anybody else. This was another lost struggle against cancer of the soul.
God bless you.
Paulina

Posted by paulina del rio from chile on Tuesday, April 07, 2009 08:23

My precious, beautiful son Garrett William Park took his life on October 18, 2008. It has been just 5 months yet it feels as if I am stuck in one horrible moment where my life is forever changed. He would have been 24 years old in a few days, March 29th. All I can think about is that he is not ever going to be here with me again. I won't get to hear his voice, hug him tight, drink in the sound of his laughter, or gaze into his big beautiful brown eyes that were as soft and sweet as a doe. Everything has changed. I am barely hanging on because my heart is so shattered that I physically hurts. I have to remind myself to breathe in and out because nothing comes natural any longer. My beautiful son is gone and my soul will long for him until I get to heaven one day and can hold him close and tell him how much I have missed him. I don't know why you did this Garrett. I desperately want to be able to talk to you and know you are okay... that you are happy, whole and perfect in the presence of your Savior and Lord Jesus Christ whom you gave your heart to when you were a young boy. I wish you had come to me... I wish you had thought about what this would do to everyone who loves you. You didn't leave a note.... nothing to help us understand. I beg God every day for the chance to go back and stop this from happening. I would give my life for you in a second. I would do anything I could to make things better for you so that you wouldn't have felt so hopeless and sad. I didn't know. None of us knew. Why? We are all left behind in the wake of this hellish pain amd sorrow to try to live without you. It is so unfair. Why didn't you think of what this would do to me as your mother? To Jennifer? She was planning to marry you and build a life together with you. Do you know how much you have devastated Austin and Crystalyn, Glenn and your grandparents? All of your friends, family and loved ones are so confused, so broken so lost. Why son? Why did you choose to take this way out? I have thought about doing the same thing so many times but I just can't add to the heartbreak of those who love us both. I want to be with you so much but I know that I have to wait until the Lord calls me home because it isn't my right to take my own life just as it wasn't really yours. I thank God so much for His forgiveness and mercy. He said that no one could snatch those who belong to Him out of His hand and that nothing could seperate us from His love. That proves to me that you are safely in His arms now. I know you must be sorry for what you did. I forgive you son. I love you with all I am and will ever be. My heart is shattered beyond description but my love for you is eternal.

Always and Forever,
Your loving and devoted Mom

Posted by Cheryl Evans from Orlando, Fla on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 07:27

On 30th October 2008, our son Andrew Wolfe age 27 decided to end his life. He will never realise that so many people cared about him his parents, brother, partner, 3children, friends and relatives. Every day we think of him. He wasnt perfect . We had a lot of hard struggles and days with Andrew. He was too bright, he was often bored. He loved his children with a passion. In the last week Andrew would have turned 28. If only we could turn back the clock. But we can''t. But we can still miss and love him.

Posted by LEANNE WOLFE from Bli Bli on Tuesday, March 03, 2009 17:15

This is for Richard Marsland - though I never met you, I feel like I have lost a close friend. Your death has affected me and so many others in such a big way, in a way I didn't think possible. It's been a month, yet at least once a day I still have the sick realisation that it is real, that it did happen. I feel it in my stomach and my heart - a heaviness and a cloud. I would give anything to bring you back, but I can't no matter how much I want to, and I have to accept that and try as hard as I can to learn form this and make something positive come out of it. I wish you knew how much you were and are still loved, how talented you were, how special you were. You have made my life a better place and I will never forget you and how you have made me feel (good feelings and bad). I just want so much to bring you back, but I can't, and it just burns me up inside. I just can't believe it still. Would anything have saved you? I guess we'll never know.

Posted by Bernadette from Brisbane on Monday, January 05, 2009 23:04

Dearest Laef, we will all miss you so much tomorrow. Christmas will never be the same without your gorgeous smile, your charisma and your jokes to entertain us. We love you, little brother and hope your beautiful smile will be shining down on us from wherever you are.

To Vern, I hope you're in a beautiful place, that the past few years have tamed those demons of yours and you're now happy and at peace. We all love and miss you very much.

xxx

Posted by Britt from Perth on Wednesday, December 24, 2008 12:05

My little sister Kelly took her own life in 1993. I was 18, she was 17.
You broke my heart,Kell. Even today I still struggle to keep it together. They tell me it's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but I know it is just a broken heart. I wish you could see my babies Kell. They would have loved you so much and I know you would have adored them too. I wish you were here, with your own babies. You would have made such a wonderful mum.
All the things we could have, would have done together.
I know the pain was too great. I know you couldn't take it any more. So much pain for so long.
But I would have fought for you, girl. I would have killed for you, died for you.
Why didn't you come to me?
Why didn't you send that letter?
I would have come for you. I would have gotten you away from it all.
Oh god, it still hurts.
15 years on- I'm still bleeding. I miss you so much, little sister.

Posted by Cathy from NSW on Sunday, December 21, 2008 01:31

william prior. age 60.......dad you where the strongest man i had ever meet, you where my best friend you where my very thing , i am so heart broken so lost .to think some one that i loved so much was so sad in there life. i never had a clue you where so sad, that day i got that phone call was the worst day of my life, i didnt believe it, i could never think that you would take your own life. i am so so so sad to think you put a gun to your head i just cant deal with that. it dont get any easyer your on my mind all the time, i miss you, it upsets me to think your grandson was born 4 days old he never got to met you.., its only been 8 months . but its been so hard to know that i will never see you hear your voice see your loving smiling face ,just to know your not there. im so lost and still in shock . i would never have thought that you would take your own life. to think how sad, lonely, and alone you must have felt breaks my heart,i never got to say good bye i never got to hug or kiss you .. i love you dad and miss you every day, ,,,,,, your loven daughter kylee....,

Posted by kylee prior from sydney on Monday, December 15, 2008 22:11

My beautiful and much loved brother Michael took his life in January 2008, after a long and brave struggle with melancholic depression, coupled with episodes of debilitating anxiety. He was a gentle and loving soul and proud father of four wonderful children and two grandchildren, who were the lights of his life. Michael loved singing, dancing, music, working hard, had a great sense of humour and lived with honesty and integrity. He tried so hard to find peace and to protect his loved ones from the fallout of his despair. We all know you didn't want to hurt us.....it just got too hard to stay. Miss you so much darling, love Cathi x

Posted by Cathi Healy from Adelaide, SA on Sunday, November 09, 2008 00:57

daddy , im not mad at you. i just want you to know that you were a great father. you taught me so much about life. im sad that your gone . william looks just like you. its been a year and a half but its seems like a century. i miss your smile =] and your chipped tooth. i love you daddy ... and i'll always be your babygirl

Posted by alex from west palm beach florida on Friday, November 07, 2008 15:37

My husband was the 39-year old police officer and military veteran mentioned above. He took his life on October 2, 2008. He took my life with him. Everyday without him is empty. I miss him so much.

To my friend, my confidante, my lover, my hero and my soulmate .... you have ALL my love, ALL my life. I'm sorry I it wasn't enough to take your pain away. Your wife forever, Lori

Posted by Lori from Calgary, Alberta, Canada on Friday, November 07, 2008 15:07

Jordan I miss you so much. Why did you leave us?

Posted by Ranay from US on Sunday, October 19, 2008 12:54

In memory of my life, my love, my best friend, Brad. I am so sorry I couldnt have done more....I miss you forever. Prost!

Posted by J from Saskatchewan on Saturday, October 18, 2008 14:27

We lost our joy, our son Scotty on Nov 1st 07......he was creative, beautiful, funny,talented,amazing,incredible along with a completely wonderful nature, he was too sensitive, too unable to cope with getting mad or being sad. He covered it all. He was a magnet to be around, people were drawn to him, he was the connector in our lives. We will never be the same.
We miss you, and hundreds of your family members and your wonderful friends are still mystified at your death. It wasn't supposed to be this way. But we have to take what we have learned about the sadness you suffered, and kept to yourself, and we have to educate.........so many of us think that depression looks like it does in the commercials.......it can look a whole lot different from that , too.

Posted by Mary Peters from Wildomar,Ca. 92595 on Saturday, October 18, 2008 09:30

I lost my oldest son Matt to suicide. He was only 19 when he hung himself.
Matt I love you and miss you everyday.
You were my hero and I don't believe you ever really knew that.
Love Your mom

Posted by Susan Oliver from Virginia on Friday, October 17, 2008 10:48

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

My beautiful, wonderful brother - a police officer and military vet, dead at 39 with a self inflicted gun shot to the head. Not a clue, ever! of him being suicidal. 700 - 750 people, CPS and past miliary and public at the funeral. Still cannot believe his smiling face will never come round no more.

Facebook Group ''In memory of Police Const. Ernest Wayne Perry'' Feb. 5/69 to Oct. 2/08

Slideshow Presentation with music. Please look and share in my past proud moments of him.

Posted by Connie from Saskatchewan on Thursday, October 16, 2008 19:42

My handsome cowboy shot himself dead at Opium Creek Station NT. My son was loved, liked and always evoked a smile. Che was so bright but found life a challenge - in such a hurry to grow up but when he got there he didn't like it?? I love you my son, I miss you and I want you back.
Cowboy Up Che - Miss you much. Mummy xxx (to infinity and beyond ...)
Che Darius Purcell 3/5/1980 - 30/7/2000

Posted by Judith Selby from Canowindra NSW on Friday, October 10, 2008 19:35

James Hilton Stuart
19/02/67 - 08/10/05
May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness surrond you when your far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever Young
May good fortune be with you
May your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven
with a prince or a vagabond
Forever Young
But whatever road you choose
I'm behind you, win or lose
Forever Young Forever Young Forever Young

May the God Lord hold you in the palm of his hand.

Hugs and kisses until we meet again,
Bundles of love Mum, Dad and Suz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buddy and Mimi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by Cathy Stuart from Sydney on Thursday, October 09, 2008 14:05

Daddy killed himself on February 9, 2007. The day before his 66th birthday. I was supposed to drive to New Mexico to meet him for lunch. I wish he would have come to lunch and let us have a good time together at least one last time. I miss you, Daddy.

Posted by Kristin from Arizona on Thursday, October 09, 2008 10:01

I lost my precious son, Robert, on June 15, 2005. He was tall and slim, handsome, clever and newly married. He had so much to live for but sadly he suffered with a terrible insidious illness called melancholic depression. I believe, in a moment of despair, he took his life to rid himself of the terrible pain. I know how much he loved us, as we did him, and I know how much he wanted to live. He told me that he knew I understood how painful it was for him, and that helps me enormously. I would find it so hard to bear if he had felt I hadn't understood his distress. But, oh, how much I want him back. I miss his smile and hugs, his love and his just being there. I grieve for him, and I grieve for the loss of his potential. He remains so close in my heart because I will always love and miss him so very very much. Love you, Robert!.

Posted by Glenda Dean from Sydney on Friday, October 03, 2008 17:19

Carol Cadbury
My wish list

1 I wish you would not be afraid to speak my loved ones name they lived

And were important and I need to hear their name.

2 If I cry or get emotional if we talk about my loved one I wish you knew that it isnt because you hurt me the fact that they have died has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.

3 I wish you wouldnt let my love die again by removing from your home his pictures or other remembrances.

4 I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs I wish you wouldnt think that if I had a good day my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling.

5 Being a bereaved person is not contagious, so I wish you would stay away from me.

6 I wish that you knew all the crazy grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness and the questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following a death.

7 I wish you wouldnt expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for me. As with alcoholics I will never be cured or be formerly bereaved but forevermore be recovering from my bereavement.
8 I wish you would understand the physical reaction to grief. I may gain weight or lose weight sleep all the time or not at all, develop a host of illnesses and accident-prone all of which are related to grief.
9 My loved ones birthday, the anniversary of their death and the holidays are terrible times for me. I wish you could tell me that you are thinking about them on those days. And if I get quiet and withdrawn just know that im thinking about them and dont try to coerce me into being cheerful.
10 I wish you wouldnt offer to take me out for a drink or a party this is just a temporary crutch and only way I can get through this grief is to experience it. I have hurt before and I can heal.
11 I wish you would understood that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my beloved died and I will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to my old self you will stay frustrated. I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and beliefs. Please try to get to know the new me-maybe you will still like me

Posted by my wish list from sydney on Friday, October 03, 2008 13:35

BRENDEN JAMES WILCOX 23/05/84 to 30th/12/07

Let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men

Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we're getting in tune 47214321
The music's played by the mad men

Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever? Forever young

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young

It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fleeing horse
Youth's like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever

So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever?

Posted by mum from sydney on Friday, October 03, 2008 06:02

I lost my brother Harry 7 years ago. Harry I hope your looking down and see us and know that we miss
you. I hope you have found peace up in heaven and I hope you are happy. I miss your visits and I miss visiting you in all the great places you have lived. I miss your pancakes and I miss having coffee with you. You were always busy working hard but you always had time for a coffee. I hope one day we all meet up in heaven, the only differents is that we will all be older and you still young. I hope you remember us, because we will never forget you and will always miss you. I hope you see my Harry and know that I had to have a little boy so I could name him after you so I could hear your name being said, Harry I miss you heaps things seem alot different now your not here. Love your sister Lee xxx

Posted by Lee Turner from Oatlands on Thursday, October 02, 2008 20:38

I lost my son Harry 7 years ago 13th july 2001 . Harry was 32 years old and i know when i listen to other people i was lucky to have him for 32 years but that dosnt make it any easier, even after 7 years it dosnt get any better just different, I wish i could have that last night over again but i cant ,so i just hope you are at peace and know how much we all love you . You will always be my only one. all my love mummy dearest

Posted by Harry Hardin Turner from Haberfield on Thursday, October 02, 2008 17:40

how do we cope without you.The family is broken.Nan is sick from it.Mum and dad are dying inside your brothers feel responible .How can we get any answers without you here.Everything is hard. Noone can move on.We are so hurt. Life is not right without you.Your brothers need you.We need your funy sense of humour with us to make us laugh again,to make life fun again.We just struggle with it where are you,talk to us let us know what it was,we dont get it there was nothing wrong in this family.you told me .I didn,t really think you would do it.I told you things always look better the next dayand how much we love you, we are here for you,such a close family I dont get it .We love you DAMIEN come back to us I think about you every day,the pain is so intense.Time doesnt heal nothing heals you dying not even 21.Aweek before your birthday party on christmas eve how sad.My angel has gone Our family is broken but we are slowly putting the pieces back together WE LOVE YOU FOREVER and ever

Posted by nelly carroll from bundeena on Thursday, October 02, 2008 14:56

I lost my 20 year old baby brother Peter Scott in 2003 to suicide.
You were such a beautiful soul, and every day I thank god for the 20 years that I had with you!
I believe that you must have been in so much pain to do what you did and now you are at peace...
I know you did what you had to do, and I remember that I was lucky enough to hug you and tell you that I loved you the last day that I saw you. You came to me for a reason, I know that now... and I want you to know that I dont blame myself anymore for leaving that day...
I have been lucky that you have come to me in my dreams and that we have talked and laughed.
There is not a day goes by that I dont think of you.
I love you and miss you little brother!!! I look forward to seeing you again one day! x x x
Lots of love your sister Lise x

Posted by Lisa Marsden from Dee Why on Thursday, October 02, 2008 11:16

hi brenden its mum its breaking our hearts not having you here i just want my phone to ring and hear whats for dinner or pick me up just anything i so much want to be able to ring you we dont know how to go on with our lives without you in it we dont know how to cope your suppose to be here only if you had come to us we could have helped you somehow im so sorry for what happened to you ill never forgive myself we are never going to have christmas again it just wont be the same anymore i just want to forget all thoses holidays easter christmas ill ever be able to buy you a easter egg again or make you a chocolate bag for christmas please help me cope im dying inside and we just dont know how we are goning handle the rest of our lives with out you if only i had been awake when you came home ill never forgive myself for that i know we had our fights and stuff but we really do love with all our hearts i have to go now i hope you read this all our love your mum and dad love you xxxxxxxxx

Posted by carol and garry mum and dad from sydney on Thursday, October 02, 2008 09:24

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