Life doesn't always go the way you plan. Sometimes it throws you a big curveball.
For Adrian, that moment came on a Friday morning in March 2019. He was up early, working and feeling good. Then it happened – a stroke that would rewrite the next chapter of his life.
When life flips
Before the stroke, Adrian was a man in motion. He was a producer and sales manager with the ABC and a musician who played in jazz bands, rock bands and country bands. Bass was his favourite, though he could pick up a guitar, mandolin or drums. He was active at home too, cooking, doing the lawns, building a life with his partner.
Then everything changed.
His right side was paralysed. He went from doing everything to needing help with almost everything. What Adrian thought would be a couple of weeks in recovery turned into years of learning to live differently. The physios said he'd be walking by Monday. Seven years later, he's still working toward that goal.
It wasn't just his body that changed. His relationship with his partner shifted too. She stood by him for four years, trying to adjust to a life turned upside down. But eventually, the weight of it all became too much. Adrian doesn't blame her for a moment. He gets it. When you're struggling, you're not always yourself. Sometimes loving someone means knowing when to step back.
Then came the cancer diagnosis. The chemotherapy. The diabetes. Triple threat after triple threat. Adrian found himself asking: when does this stop?
The light in the darkness
But here's the thing about Adrian. He's got a warm sense of humour and a contagious optimism.
He refused to disappear into self-pity. Instead, he got himself a good physio. He started cutting out the sweets. He made small changes that added up. His last two blood tests came back perfect. The diabetes that once felt like a life sentence? Nearly gone.
More importantly, Adrian knew he needed to come home.
He'd grown up in Sydney’s Como before moving to Wagga Wagga for 35 years. When the stroke struck, something pulled him back to his Shire roots. He needed somewhere he could live with a little help but still feel independent. He needed community. He needed to heal.
That's when he found Frank Vickery Village in Sylvania.
Community as medicine
"When I first came here, I was in a wheelchair," Adrian says. "Now I'm using a walker. I've progressed quite well."
But it's more than the physical progress that's changed his life. One of his carers pulled him aside and said something that stuck with him: "It's just amazing how much happier you are."
She was right.
Adrian's made good friends here. Real friends. He's found purpose too. Because of his background in IT, he helps residents with their tech problems – no charge, just because it matters. He serves on a committee. Suddenly, after years of being sidelined by illness, he was busy again. He was needed.
The stroke took away his ability to play music physically – his right side is too numb to manage the precise timing required. That's grief he's had to work through. He still writes music in his head. He still loves listening to it. But he can't create it the way he once did. And that loss is real.
Yet even here, Adrian found a way forward. A theremin – that unusual instrument that plays when you move your hand near it – became something he could explore. Not a career path, maybe, but a small door that stayed open.
What really matters
Three years at Frank Vickery Village have taught Adrian something important: community isn't about pity or sympathy. It's about treating people like people. It's about creating space where someone can feel valued.
"I've always lived my life like this," Adrian says. "Failure is never as bad as regret. Because if you attempt something, at least you say you've done it. If you don't do it, you'll live the rest of your days regretting it."
That philosophy has carried him through stroke, cancer, diabetes, and a relationship ending. It's carrying him still.
A different kind of home
If you're facing a major life change – whether it's a health challenge, a loss of independence, or simply the transition into a new phase of life – Wesley Mission's retirement living communities like Frank Vickery Village are there for you.
They're places where people don't just receive care. They come to rebuild.
Adrian's story isn't about bouncing back to who he was before the stroke. It's about growing into his next chapter – a chapter even better than the last.
Ready to learn more about our retirement living services? Visit wesleymission.org.au/retirement-living to explore how we support people at every stage of life.
Shape Adrian's name and key details have been used with permission. His story is one of many lived within Wesley Mission's community.
