One family's journey of love and loss
Late one afternoon, Cara received a phone call. Three siblings needed a safe place to stay – just for the night, maybe the weekend or possibly longer.
Cara turned to her adopted daughter Lizzie, who didn't hesitate. "Well, that's what you guys did for us, so we can do that for other kids," Lizzie said.
A journey marked by loss and love
Cara and Luke have been foster carers for 16 years – three of those with Wesley Mission. While the numbers are simple, the journey is not.
They always dreamed of a big family. But along the way, they faced unimaginable loss – three children lost to a genetic disorder.
"We had so much to give, but we just weren't able to give it," Cara reflects.
A few months before their second son Judah was born, they opened their doors and welcomed their first respite placement. That door has stayed open ever since.
Love fiercely, hold loosely
Their home is loud, messy and full of life, but they wouldn't have it any other way. Five children – two biological and three adopted. And sometimes, one more. A child who needs a safe place to stay.
Over the years, Cara and Luke have done it all: respite, emergency, short-term and long-term care. But these days, it's mostly short-term. No matter how long they stay, each child leaves with a little more stability, a little more love.
"They have a home for as long as they need with us. We treat them like our own because that's what they deserve. They deserve to be loved wholly, not at arm's length."
Cara and Luke's approach is simple: love fiercely, hold loosely.
For those who stay for just a night or week, Cara still gives everything. "They're not our children, but when they're in my home, they are," she says. "It's my job to protect, defend, support, advocate and love them with every fibre of my being while they're under my roof."
No love is wasted
And even when they leave, that love stays.
"No love that we give is ever wasted," Cara says. "We want them to know they're valued, they're loved, that someone sees them and is cheering for them."
While in their care, Cara makes it a priority to connect with their birth family.
"As soon as I can, I reach out to the birth family and say: I'm on your team. I'm here to support you and your child for as long as they need. When you take in a child in foster care, you take on the whole family."
Part of the family
Cara says she loves fostering with Wesley Mission because she feels like part of the family.
"I'm part of the family. When I reach out, I feel heard. I'm part of the decision-making process. What I say about how I see the child, how they're coping – it's listened to."
For Cara, fostering is a calling. And it's her faith and desire to impact children's lives that drives her to keep going.
"Part of the Christian faith is to look after the orphans and the widows and to love people," Cara says. "This is my way of contributing to society. I might not have the power to change the world but I have the power and love to change the world of a child. You can change the world one person at a time."
While it's not always easy, for Cara and Luke, it's always worth it.
"Watching them come out of their shell, learning to receive love – it's not overnight," Cara explains. "But when they snuggle and say, 'Yeah, this is home', that's memorable."
Could you be a foster carer?
Every child deserves a safe place to call home. If you're interested in becoming a foster carer with Wesley Mission, we'd love to hear from you.
