Walking into Judy and Allan’s home near Grafton the first thing you notice is a wall of photographs. Happy faces of toddlers, tweens and teens prominently displayed as a symbol that every young life matters here.

The second thing you notice is the unmistakable sounds of children. Ten to be exact, ranging in age from one to 26, including the couple’s four biological children, their adopted daughter, her two biological sisters, their cousin and two foster children.

Over 28 years, the couple has cared for 114 (and counting) children and young people. Starting as long-term carers with the NSW Department of Communities and Justice, they now provide a range of care through Wesley Dalmar, including respite and emergency care, short- and long-term placements and adoption.

Building a family bound by cherished memories

Not believing they could have a family of their own, Judy and Allan were inspired to explore foster care by some friends.

“Once we started, we fell in love with it,” says Judy. “The first day we get a child into care, I take their photo. They can look at the wall and see there’ve been other kids like them who’ve come into our home.

“It’s also our way of having that memory forever – to know they’ve been a part of our lives whether short or long term. It’s a memory to hold onto.”

Having cared for so many children and young people, Judy and Allan converted their three-bedroom home into a five-bedroom home, complete with lots of bunk beds. It’s not necessarily a big house, but the couple say it’s one that works.

Making lifelong connections

Whether it’s attending birthday parties or sporting matches or encouraging others to consider fostering at Grafton’s annual Jacaranda Festival, Judy and Allan’s effort pays off, with many of the children and young people they’ve supported staying in touch after leaving foster care.

“You don’t do it to change the kid,” says Allan. “You do it to try and show them there’s another way to live their lives – one where hopefully they break the cycle and that helps the next generation.”

And, while it isn’t always easy, given each child’s unique circumstances, challenges and gifts, Judy and Allan wouldn’t have it any other way.

“They treat every child like their own,” says Hayley, Case Manager at Wesley Mission’s foster care office in Grafton.

“Their whole house is warm and welcoming because they want their kids to have a great life and will do whatever they need to make sure it happens.”

While some days can feel like a circus, Judy says it’s the small things, like a cuddle or an “I love you” that make it all worth it.

“It’s not all a bed of roses but at the same time, there’s a lot of joy,” she continues. “[And], Wesley Mission, they are so supportive. Nothing’s ever a problem; they’re always willing to help out.”

The couple is keen to let people know that you don’t need a lot of money or a big house to be a foster carer, just a big heart and an open mind.

And as Allan points out, “If somebody’s considering becoming a carer to start with, they’re the right type of people, aren’t they?”